Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Death of Susette Werner

Susette G. Werner, a 42-year-old divorced mother of two children was an easy-going person, intelligent and strong-willed. She kept a positive attitude and loved people and life. A friend of hers said she couldn’t get mad at anyone because she could easily be made to laugh. Her family said she stayed with friends but kept in touch; she’d call just to say hello; to hear their voice. Susie’s last night was spent at a local lounge where she was a regular at karaoke and listening to her favorite band. She stopped drinking after midnight but stayed until closing then called a friend for a ride, but he couldn’t come and drive her.

Sunday, Feb 8, 2009 around 1:30 to 3 a.m. Susie left the restaurant and lounge that she often frequented and was hit at the intersection of Cedar and Carlisle in Spokane, Washington. Susie’s body was dragged for a mile. According to evidence gathered she was dragged south on Cedar to Northwest Boulevard, west on Northwest Boulevard to Ash and south on Ash to Maxwell. Regardless of all the evidence and descriptions of two vehicles (the possible dragging vehicle and a witness’ vehicle) they have not solved Susette’s death; she has yet to find justice.
The automobile believed at that time to be suspects’ vehicle is a boxy green, sports utility vehicle or van. Witnesses say the driver was a heavy set, tall male wearing a light-colored mid-length jacket. A person driving a teal or turquoise station wagon may have witnessed the dragging, at the most, he may know the suspect. Witnesses saw both vehicles at Corky’s Radiator Shop on North Ash Street where the driver of the sports utility got out of his vehicle with a flashlight and looked down Ash Street. He then made a phone call, and a few minutes later the person driving the teal or turquoise station wagon drove into the Radiator Shop parking lot. The driver exited his vehicle, faced the suspect driver and then the suspect driver got back in his car and peeled out the lot headed south and turning east onto Sinto Avenue. The driver of the turquoise car backed up into a driveway and headed back toward the way he’d came.

The local police retraced Susie’s steps the morning she died. They believed she left the bar around 1:30 a.m. with two men, but have since talked to those men. The two men say they dropped her off near her home because she couldn’t explain where the apartment was. The police also believe she was lying on the ground when the suspect vehicle hit her. And that the driver was going at a slow speed. The suspect vehicle driver was said to have backed up at Ash and Maxwell where they discovered the body, and they believed that is when the body dislodged.

Sadly, they have declared the above witnesses’ information of the suspect vehicle backing up unreliable, as well as the information on the second vehicle. LE now regrets making the video public. The bartender said Susie left the bar alone and went to a convenience store where she advised the clerk she believed someone was following her. The store clerk told her that he didn’t see anyone suspicious and Susie left the store alone and walking.

Stories surrounding Susie’s last hours are unclear. The autopsy reports, (according to her family) states she had many broken bones, including her legs. According to media articles no broken leg is the reason LE thought she was lying on the ground when the car hit her. But LE states they meant her shins weren’t broken. Susie’s billfold wasn’t found on her person the night she died either, but a couple who was walking in an alley, the day after the discovery of Susie’s body, found it. The alley is near Cedar and Carlisle where it’s believed the vehicle first hit Susie.

I wonder if closure with this case, justice for Susie, will ever happen. Perhaps Susie had her personal demons, her father says she was an alcoholic, but that isn’t cause for someone to kill her. I agree it isn’t just cause. Perhaps her demons were because she had divorced and her children were with their father. Or maybe because she knew she was an alcoholic and couldn’t find the ‘want to’ to stop drinking. Perhaps her demons were because she was lonely and couldn’t find her niche in this world.   None of these perhaps is proof she had personal demons. They are my speculation. I can think of other plausible scenarios that are just as believable as the ones in the articles. One thing I am sure of is that absolutely nothing is cause enough to run over a person and drag her more than thirteen blocks, a mile, and then leave that person’s mangled body lying on the roadside.

Somebody knows something about this murder; someone has to know and they need to come forward. Susie needs peace in her afterlife. Her family needs answers and they have a right to properly grieve knowing justice prevailed for Susie.



Sunday, December 27, 2009

John Robert Kastner's Upcoming Trial

A little background on this upcoming murder trial.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008 John Robert Kastner told a tall tale of waking to discover a man standing at the foot of his bed. The man, according to him, was looking for someone his daughter knew. The 19-year-old daughter wasn’t at home but his other daughter and son were sleeping when the shootings occurred. This intruder proceeded to fight with him and shoot Kastner’s wife twice in the head; during the altercation he was shot in the hand. The evidence did not pan out for law enforcement and on June 27, 2008 they arrested Kastner for the murder of his wife.

Lori Moon Kastner was a judicial assistant with the Oklahoma Supreme Court. She quit her job in May of 2008 to follow Kastner in a fictional world that he’d convinced her was a real world. She’d gone so far as contact a bank about opening an international account for a corporation called ‘713 Corporation’ which would handle millions of dollars. Sadly, Lori’s love covered over her legal training and analytic intelligence.

Since his arrest, John Robert Kastner’s story has changed. Justice for Lori has been fraught with delays due to her husband’s play with the legal system. He pled not guilty, fired his public defender lawyer, wanted to defend himself and then hired a Tulsa high profile lawyer named John Byrd.

More recent news.

Kastner’s attorney John Byrd didn’t show for a couple court hearings this month but before Christmas he did file a motion for yet another delay saying his client was entering an insanity plea.

This motion, if accepted by the court, will likely postpone the Jan 4, 2010 date that was previously set for jury selection to begin. The insanity defense strategy is odd to me since Byrd has mentioned that Kastner stated he did not shoot his wife. Who did then? Surely not the intruder, whose race changed from native American to white, since no such person has ever been found. And too, the alleged shooter must have walked on air since he managed to not leave footprints in the blood during his struggle with Kastner. Then again, maybe that 22-caliber gun Kastner bought a week before the shooting, and allegedly practiced shooting in his backyard, simply jumped in his hand and spoke to him, demanding that he shoot Lori twice.

The probable new trial date is looming large as yet another delay in the cry for Lori’s justice since the Prosecutor, First Assistant District Attorney Doug Drummond, said if Kastner changes his plea to insanity they’d need time to prepare and to have an expert to evaluate Kastner.

I am not saying Kastner is guilty of this murder; it hasn’t gone to court and heard by a jury. But, I do think this man has some mental issues. Is he criminally insane? My personal opinion is no; I think he opted to live in his fantasy world and not in the real world. Unfortunately, he didn’t put his fantasies onto paper as a fictional novel and chose to drag his wife into the fantasy also. Appearances can be deceiving, both physically and mentally, but that choice makes him appear guilty to me.

When this trial does actually go live inside a Tulsa court, it’s possible no cameras will be allowed. The judge has previously stated none would be and they have allowed no recording devices which mean live text updates won’t be available either.



Sunday, December 6, 2009

The Battle Concerning Col. Barfoot's Flagpole


The above article is one that somewhat bothers me. To say Col Barfoot’s battle to fly his flag on his flagpole is about stubbornness is just wrong to me. I appreciate that Mr. Williams gave both sides of the story, the homeowners’ association and Col. Barfoot’s too, but I do disagree with the homeowners’ association and Mr. Williams with this one. If it is indeed an attribute of stubbornness to want the proper height upright pole to properly fly his flag then I, too, say I join and applaud Col. Barfoot in his stubbornness.

Col. Barfoot’s flagpole is not an eyesore, it isn’t something like an overgrown weed-filled lawn, or discarded furniture that trashes the neighborhood and causes the price of homes to drop. What it is, is Honor. That flagpole is part of what America is about. The flag he waves is what America is about. His flag shouldn’t be flown on one of those aluminum poles tilted on the outside wall of his home. That flag should fly on his pole, a proper pole where he can continue to honor it and for what it stands.

I pray Col. Barfoot wins this battle and the extra week he was given to take down his pole becomes more than one week. It should become until death him and his flag and his proper height pole parts.

I think it’s an exhibition of shame for the US and, too, the homeowners’ association of Sussex Square when a decorated war veteran, a veteran of three wars, can’t fly his flag on a proper upright pole. The homeowners’ association should rewrite their rules and regulations to allow this pole to stay as it is, where it is. They should allow other homeowners to honor this country the same way too. The pride the people of that community and town could and should feel knowing a section of their county is filled with American patriotism is tremendous.

More articles on this brave battle of Col. Barfoot and his supporters can be found at the above link site, at face book support sites, and also at:




Thursday, November 5, 2009

Current Events: Disturbing Recent Trials

I haven’t been in the writing mode for a long time so I’ve neglected my blog. I still feel sadly inept with writing a new piece due to that lack of mode. So much has been going through my mind that I want to write that my mind refuses to allow just one to settle so I can focus only on it. I think it's because the trials are so disturbingly heinous and emotionally hard to watch.

One is the Christian/Newsom murders and the horrific way they were carjacked, violated and killed by five people. Letalvis Cobbins, Lemaricus Davidison, George Thomas, Vanessa Coleman and Eric Boyd. Boyd is in prison for his part in the carjacking, Cobbins was found guilty of the charges against him and was sent to a medium security prison. Vanessa Coleman and George Thomas trials have yet to happen. Thomas’s trial is in jury selection.

The medium security was an anger point for me and one reason I couldn’t bring myself to write about the Davidson trial as it happened. Since they transferred him (Cobbins) to that prison a Senator has taken charge and they moved him to a maximum security prison. If you read my other blog piece on Cobbins you know that I had, when they read the sentencing decision, felt a tiny bit glad they sent him up for LWOP - and I felt guilt for that glad feeling. When I heard he was at a medium security prison, I felt even more guilt and became angry because they sent him somewhere he could have a ‘good life’ behind bars. Cobbins does not deserve a good life behind bars or anywhere else. He should be behind lock and key for 23 of the 24 hours in a day and only let out for that hour to walk around in a cage for exercise. In truth, he should have gotten the death penalty.

Channon and Chris can’t walk around anymore. They can’t know what it’s like to breathe in fresh air or exercise at their leisure so why should Cobbins or any of the others.

Lemaricus Davidson was found guilty of all 46 charges against him, with three of those lesser degree charges connected to Chris, and they gave him the death penalty. Thankfully he will be shut up in a maximum security prison waiting for his death. Another anger point is all the appeals’ Chris and Channon’s families will have to endure before they finally put him to death.
People complain about the monetary cost of putting someone to death. I think that cost would go down quite a bit if we did not allow prisoners more rights than the victims. Victims are demoralized when they are killed and again in the court system. People like Davdison allow their attorneys to try and brand them as foul sewage-slime, useless people. The foul sewage-slime and useless people are the killers, not the victims.

Another reason I can’t focus on one blog subject is the Michelle Kehoe trial. Dear God in Heaven, the impression I got was that she, according to what an expert defense witness said yesterday, seems to have every depressive mental issue in the medical books. And it’s all because of thyroid medication. Ah, so since she took a dosage too high for her or something, it’s okay that she planned how to blame slitting her children’s throats on a ‘bad man?’ All I know is that, when I see her face, her little son’s words play over and over in my head. He asked what his mom was doing and he said, ‘she was hurting my little brother.’ I am worried about the son that survived. I’m worried about what his family is telling him. Are they saying, mom was sick, she didn’t mean to hurt you? I am worried about how he will view abuse as he grows older. Will he think it’s okay to hurt others if he feels sad some days? Will he be able to function in the real world? I hope he grows to become a positive influence on those around him and moves past these horrific events.

I don’t know if a defendant considered mentally insane at the moment of committing a crime can be sent to a mental facility for life. But, I sure hope if the jury decides she is insane and she is sent to one that she can’t stay there a few years and take medications as she should, convince some doctor she is okay to function in society and then released back in the public. She tried so hard to be a perfect mom, or so it was said. Anybody knows there is no such thing as a perfect parent. Does it mean that, in her strange sense of reality, she thought by saying a bad man did it, her children, husband and the public at large would still consider her a perfect mom?

We shall see (or hear) what the jury decides, they should have the case today after closings and they hear jury charges.

Many things are bothering me, running around in my head and wanting written. And because of that, I rambled in this piece and I apologize to my readers for that rambling.

Since I posted this piece earlier today the jury reached a verdict. Michelle Kehoe was found guilty of first degree murder and guilty on all the other charges against her children. I approve of that verdict.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Current Events: Bob's Life and The Death of Diane Elizabeth Ward

James Robert ‘Bob’ Ward and Diane Elizabeth Ward were married in 1986.

Apparently, in 1997 James ‘Bob’ Ward founded a company called Land Resource. His business boomed and he became immensely successful. However, Ward’s company eventually failed, allegedly due to the housing crunch, and in 2008 he filed for bankruptcy. The bond company is suing Bob, claiming he moved monies he should have used to improve properties into trust funds for his children, paid off loans and bought luxury cars and bought a 4.3 million-dollar Florida home. The home is now in foreclosure.

September 21, this year, Bob Ward called 911 and allegedly said, ‘I just shot my wife - she’s dead.’ Diane Elizabeth Ward was found dead of a fatal gunshot wound to the head. A few days later, they charged Bob with second-degree murder in Diane’s death. Diane and Bob’s two children, Mallory and Sarah stand beside their father and the story that Diane committed suicide.

In a video from a jail house visit, Mallory jokes about his jumpsuit and he gives a thumbs-up as he dances and pretends to do a strip tease. Mallory giggles and dances with him while his sister-in-law Paula Saare laughs with him.

A little history on Bob Ward’s life:

During the late 70's, around 32 years ago, Janis Ward divorced her then husband, James Robert ‘Bob’ Ward, on claim of physical cruelty. Her claim was that he was dangerous and she asked for a restraining order to keep him from molesting or causing her physical harm. Allegedly, their later divorce papers do not mention these allegations. Janis died in a car wreck about 30 years ago.

A few years after the divorce of Bob and Janis Ward, Bob, then a loan executive, was in a relationship with a woman named Dianne. According to Dianne, although he was charming, he was also a jealous and possessive man and five years after their relationship began, she broke it off. Dianne intimated that he used drugs and drank and when he did she saw his darker side. After Bob’s arrest for murder of his second wife, Diane Elizabeth Ward, Dianne McClintock Callahan told a story of how in anger Bob had once punched a hole in a wall because he was late for a party. During one fit of jealous anger he hit her with a bedpost and pointed a gun at her. She ran to a neighbor for help. After she left him, Dianne said he had her arrested for stealing a dog he’d bought as a gift for her. Dianne talked about how years after the gun and bedpost incident, and just a few months before Diane died, he contacted her via email. She agreed to have lunch with him. During that lunch he apologized for his past actions, talked about his wife spending too much money and his legal difficulties with bankruptcy. Dianne, now a happily married woman said she had no interest in a new relationship with Bob.

Two years after Bob and Dianne broke up, Bob had married Diane Elizabeth and due to his future business ventures lived a life of luxury; Until, that is, the fateful events that happened inside the Florida mansion on September 21, 2009 where Bob allegedly claims Diane was trying to shoot herself.

I am giving a lot of thought to the question asked by Dianne McClintock Callahan: "So something happened with her, something happened with me and now the wife is dead," Callahan said. "Are you seeing a pattern here?"




Quote found in article allegedly quoting Dianne Callahan found on page 2- http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/local/orl-isleworth-ward-death-092709,0,985559.story?page=2

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Personal Entry: I Care


“Human action can be modified to some extent, but human nature cannot be changed.” Abraham Lincoln

I care about victims of domestic violence; they have seen and unseen bruises on their bodies; they walk around with sore or broken bones and sometimes make an excuse for their abusers. They blame themselves while living in fear of their spouse coming home, knowing he or she will find faults with the smallest of things. The abused person walks a thin thread; they hide in shadows of rooms and hallways while praying the abuser won’t notice them, that the abuser’s anger won’t rear its ugly head; praying he or she had a good day and no one from work caused them to be frustrated or made them have to go out their way to deal with a situation they didn’t like.

The victims are emotionally captive in their spouses’, their abusers darkness, victims of their environment. Sadly many - too many - feel alone, not knowing where to turn or where to go for help.

We cannot change the abusers’ nature!

I care about the abused child, the ones whose parents treat like an inanimate object that’s a possession not heard, only seen. The ones whose parent slides into their bed at night, those kicked, picked up and thrown against walls, onto furniture or on the ground. The child who lives with the pain of broken bones, the ones who live with both visible and invisible bruises they are scared to show, scared to talk about. The ones who don’t know who to trust because the ones they should trust are violent toward them. The ones violently yanked from their homes, off the streets, the school yards, in the stores and other places where they should be safe. I care.

I care that children and domestic violence victims are not safe because predators stalk the streets while the laws protect the abusers’ rights; I care that the children and domestic violence victims are second class to the abusers’ in the eyes of the laws. I care about all victims no matter their gender, race, economic status, or religious beliefs.

The time has come! The time to tell all the Aldermen, Members of Congress, District Attorneys, Governors, Judges, Mayors, Senators, and Town Council Members in every city, county, parish and town of this great free country that if they don’t care too, they will not get our vote in the future. The time has come to ask when they knock on our door asking for our vote what their stance on domestic violence and child abuse is; what they will do to help the victim, put the abused first. The time to tell all of them that if they don’t battle for laws to protect the victims, to help law enforcement deal with the violence of domestic abuse and child predators that they are not speaking for us. We voted for them to carry our voice, speak for us, and they are miserably failing us. The time has come to ask the President to stand up for victims; to stand on the floor of Congress and the floor of the Senate and demand a review of the laws surrounding domestic violence and child abuse; to tell the lawmakers he demands the victims’ rights heard and that to put victims’ rights first in their minds. Above all, that he demands protection laws written that will put the abused above the rights of their abusers! We cannot change an abuser’s nature!

Child predators will always be child predators, child abusers. They cannot change their nature! We cannot change who they are. The darkness is a volcano deep inside their heart and soul, sometimes the volcano is quiet and dormant but it is always there; its ashes the victims; its fire the rage. The time has come to keep child abusers under lock and key, to keep them off the streets walking in freedom! Likewise, the time has come to keep violent domestic abusers in jail, if they did it once they will do it again! We cannot change their nature! They live in darkness and that darkness is who they are inside, what they are. They are abusers!

The time has come to demand change. The time has come to make sure our children do not have to battle for their children’s rights against predators and abusive spouses. The battle is ours, for them, the ones presently abused and the future abused. The time has come to tell, to show, all the abused we care!

Giving abusers medicines and sending them to anger management and other counseling programs will not change the abusers’ nature!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Current Events: Upcoming Trials of Lemaricus Davidson and George Thomas


The trial of Letalvis Cobbins is over; a jury gave Cobbins LWOP in August of 2009 but the State of Tennessee and Judge Baumgartner’s duties aren’t over. Today, August 31, the Judge is in Chattanooga, Hamilton CO, TN, presiding over a search for jurors in the case against George Thomas. Thomas is also a defendant in the Christian/Newsom murders and the State is seeking the death penalty.

George Thomas and Letalvis Cobbins, along with Cobbins’s girlfriend, Vanessa Coleman all was arrested the day after they discovered Channon’s body in a large trash can. According to Cobbins, Lemaricus Davidson, his brother, told Thomas he had to ‘prove’ himself. Perhaps like the days of old and the mafia ruling their paid killers, Thomas had to prove loyalty to Davidson. Perhaps Davidson had illusions of grandeur in his mind and thought himself the all-powerful one who could dish out orders of rape, torture and murder and have them carried out posthaste. I don’t know; I do know that Cobbins allegedly said both Davidson and Thomas left the house that fateful night that Chris Newsom was shot, burned and left where he lay on Cherry Street beside the railroad tracks. And I read that Vanessa made a statement Thomas had admitted the shooting of Chris Newsom to her.

Normally, I do not look forward to anything happening on September 21 of any year. That date has been ingrained in my mind since I was a small child, and not for good reasons. But this year that is different because this year, jury selection in the Lemaricus Davidson trial is set to begin.

On September 1 they will give out over 900 questionnaires to potential jurors in the Davidson trial. His trial was set to go live September 21, 2009 but Judge Baumgartner stated he felt it’d be near two weeks for the jury selection process. Here’s hoping they go live with opening statements and witness testimony by Oct 1, 2009 with Davidson’s trial; Thomas’s trial, hopefully, will begin on schedule on October 28 and again, hopefully, the public will have an opportunity to view both trials live on local video feed.

If in fact these two did violate and kill Chris Newsom and participated or committed the crime of rape, torture and murder of Channon Christian then I hope they get the death penalty. Channon and Chris had a right to live and their rights were, in many ways, violated and denied.



Thursday, August 27, 2009

Current Events: Thoughts on Letalvis Cobbins's Verdict

I have watched many criminal trials in my life but I have to say the Christian/Newsom murder trial of Letalvis Cobbins is on my top ten lists of most horrific of 'adults killing adults' that I’ve watched. What the jurors and public heard was so tragically horrific that I do not believe I could write in a blog piece of what all took place the night Channon and Chris died. Therefore, I won’t say anything about the horror and terror Channon and Chris endured before Cobbins and his alleged co-killers took their lives.

This young person, Letalvis Cobbins, helped destroy so many lives with his vile, hideous actions. Not only did he help destroy Channon and Chris’s life but that of their parents and siblings and his family too. When his older sister was testifying for his behalf during the sentencing portion of the trial, my heart broke for her. She and her siblings lived a hard life of parental drug abuse, violence and pushed from this family member to the next. That the sisters love their brother is evident, and that they begged for this jury to save him is natural. Yet the cold fact is, Cobbins participated in kidnap, rape, and murder of two wonderful young people. Letalvis’s sisters bettered their life, and he could have also.

Letalvis did not have to follow his alleged co-conspirators in a night of rape and murder; he could have saved Channon. Letalvis, in a cowardly act, decided his personal safety (if what he said about Lemaricus saying he’d shoot him was true) meant more than her life. In fact, Letalvis did not have to follow his alleged conspirators from the car jacking scene to the house; he could’ve driven to the police station and told them what had happened and saved both Channon and Chris from the hideous nightmare they endured.

Cobbins deserved to go to prison for life, in fact he deserved the death penalty.

However, as much as I despise Letalvis Cobbins as a human being and his self-serving vile actions, I am, with mixed emotional hesitance, a little pleased the jury saved his life and decided life-without-parole; he will learn some hard lessons in prison. I say that I’m a little, very little pleased not for his sake, but for his siblings and other family members. They literally destroyed two lives on January 6, 2007, and two families are continually living with the heartache of their loss. The actions of Cobbins and his alleged co-conspirators impacted three families. One family can visit their family member in jail, hear his voice, his laughter and look into his eyes. Channon and Chris’s family will never hear their loved ones again, never hear their laughter or look into their eyes.

Channon’s family is living with guilt they shouldn’t have because they feel they let their daughter down and did not save her. My heart breaks for them; I want to take away that guilt; no way they could’ve known what she would endure when she last left them; no way could they have saved her. I pray the ‘if only’ doesn’t haunt them the rest of their life. I personally know that ‘if only’ vice; I’ve been there, lived it, and it’s emotionally draining and painful. Chris’s mom feels she let her son down because the jury did not give Cobbins a death sentence; she should not feel that emotion; law enforcement did get Cobbins, the justice system worked; they brought him before a jury to answer for his crimes, and due to the guilty verdict will never walk in freedom again. Mrs. Newsom found the strength to endure all the days and nights and meetings with police and prosecutors to fight for her son’s rights; when the battle became emotionally weary and physically draining, as I imagine it was, she looked deep inside and found the strength to keep fighting. She and Mr. Newsom along with the Christian family have battles to fight ahead of them with the three other trials on the docket; I have no doubt they all will find the emotional strength to stand in for their children and continue their battles for justice.

About the older brother, Lemaricus Davidson and his alleged actions the night of Channon and Chris’s death, I can’t say I want him to live; his trial is coming up next so I don’t know what I will feel except what I am now feeling - emotions that resemble hatred just from what I have heard in Letalvis’ trial. I feel total disgust for Letalvis, disgust for what he did and for what he didn’t do; disgust for his choice to take the road of criminal and not the road of a law abiding productive human being, but at this point my feelings for his older brother are on hold.

The trial of Letalvis Cobbins: http://www.wbir.com

Friday, August 14, 2009

Current Events: The Trial of Kathryn Nadal

The trial of Kathryn Nadal is in closing arguments today. Yesterday, an investigator said Kathryn said she heard her baby whimpering and she went into the room to find Shorty on the bed licking the baby's genitals. She said she pushed the dog from the bed and went to a neighbor for help. She claimed the dog was again on the bed when she returned. DNA testing under one of Shorty's nails was too small to retest but they couldn’t exclude the baby’s DNA. (I assume they tested it but all of it was used up in that one test). Other witnesses had said that no bloody paw prints were anywhere in the house. Oops. Dogs clean themselves. But in one article connected to the case, Mr. Dega, Kathryn's neighbor, stated he saw no paw prints either. I don't know if the dog could've cleaned himself that quickly - seems residual blood would still be on the dog the day of the mutilation. But six days later, I can see why they would discover none.

Sure seems it's a battle of the experts. Two testified for State and both said the small Dachshund could not have caused clean wounds such as the baby had. A defense expert says a dog of Shorty's size and breed could've made the injuries. No weapon with DNA was found in the home. However, they discovered kitchen shears in Kathryn's bathroom. The news site mentions nothing in the articles of the shears having DNA on them.

I can't see how (from what I've read) Kathryn could not have blood on her clothing. According to one doctor, the baby had a severed artery in its leg and due to that, one leg may be shorter than the other as he grows. I think that since Holden had a severed artery then it wouldn't take long for him to bleed to death . . . and the paramedic did testify the baby was very pale.

Maybe I keep wanting to know more because I just don't see how Kathryn had time to clean herself up, discard clothing (where they couldn't be found), clean the shears and go to a neighbor for help and Holden not have bled to death. I keep wondering exactly what the paramedics did to stop the bleeding. Did they move the skin, clip away any, or did any come off on the bandages they used? Did the doctor who first treated him? The information in the write-ups doesn't give enough evidence in my opinion for any decision (by me) on she did/she did not do it. So, I will delay the mention of I think she is guilty or not guilty until I know more about what was said in court. I will say her shooting up the night before this happened doesn’t give me any supportive thoughts for her and her motherly abilities.

I just pray this jury listened carefully to all the evidence and comes to a just verdict. I hope enough evidence was presented.

An Aunt of Holden's (the dad's sister) stated that while at the hospital, Kathryn kept telling her dad (the father's dad) 'Don't have me, I didn't do this.' (That have should be hate?)

I keep thinking back to another dog mutilation case where they sent both parents to prison and later the defense discovered pictures that weren't presented in court or shown to the defense and they proved beyond any doubt that the parents did not mutilate their daughter.
I also keep wishing this woman was innocent, and that she simply was not strong enough emotionally to deal with a baby with colic to stay off the drug habit. But I can’t say with surety that she is innocent of the charges. I’m not sure if she is found NG that she should have another baby either. I just don’t want to think a mother could do such horrific things to her flesh and blood, her 5-week-old baby. But, I do know if I had all the facts to ponder and debate in my mind, then I’d reach a non prejudice or bias decision that I could live within my heart and mind. And one I’d believe would give justice to all concerned here.

One thing I can say for sure, if this woman did this horrible thing to her little baby, I don’t think she needs to ever walk in freedom again.


Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Current Events: The Trial of Kathryn Nadal

Just a few updates I read in article about the evidence heard in the trial.


On Day 1and Day 2 of trial:

Camden Gothia testified his wife partied the night before her son was mutilated. She'd left on pretense of going shopping with a friend but went to a dope house. The jury also heard that Camden and Kathryn disagreed about circumcision. Camden was against it but Kathryn wanted it and had contacted a doctor to see how much it'd cost a few days prior to Holden's mutilation.

Camden said he and Kathryn have since parted ways.. they lived together and she was the one who wanted a dog. Mr. Gothia stated the dog would lie beside the baby but was never aggressive nor did he try to harm Holden.

Today, day 2, the jury heard from paramedics that attended to Holden at the home and it was said he was very pale and started to cry when examined. One said he couldn't determine the baby's sex. Also one paramedic said that the baby had a 6x6 inch injury on its upper thighs. And during the ambulance ride Kathryn only touched her baby once. He did say she asked if her baby was going to live during the ambulance drive.

At the hospital, Kathryn was asking how long the surgery would last and left the hospital to go have a beer with a friend. The Prosecutor, Oncken, stated that when Holden was in the ambulance a neighbor had to tell Kathryn she had to ride in the ambulance with the baby.

According to Allen Isbell, Nadal's attorney, the alleged sharp weapon was never found in the apartment. (But neither was the torn and bloody diaper Nadal claimed her baby was wearing).

Isbell said police examined the sink and the garbage disposal and found no DNA or blood evidence.

(Seems to me the blood evidence was all on the bed beneath Holden - I can't imagine why any would be anywhere else- perhaps he is saying Kathryn would've gotten boody. I've read nothing of whether she had blood on her when she reached out to her neighbor for assistance. But, I suppose I can see why the question needs answering. How did she mutilate her son and not get bloody? If she showered why isn't there blood in the drain or bathroom? ) Apparently to answer some questions an expert on dog behavior is to testify for defense.



Monday, August 10, 2009

Current Events: The Trial of Kathryn Nadal

On March 13, 2007, a knock sounded on Edward Vega’s apartment door and when he opened it Kathryn Nadal, a neighbor, stated something was wrong with her son, Holden. Mr. Vega entered Mrs. Nadal’s apartment with her and found her 5-week-old son, Holden, lying in a large bed with blood surrounding his lower extremities. Kathryn stated her Dachshund, Shorty, had attacked the baby while she slept. Mr. Vega said he didn’t see any blood on the dog or dog prints anywhere. He also said he didn’t see a torn diaper. Mr. Vega called for an ambulance and grabbed a clean diaper and held it against the baby’s genitals until help came.

Animal Control took Shorty to a Veterinarian, Dr. David Rundell, for an examination. The Doctor stated he found no evidence of human blood on the Dachshund nor any human tissue in the dog’s mouth. Dr. Rundell also stated the wounds he viewed in the pictures of the child wasn’t due to an attack by an animal; the wounds weren’t ragged and appeared to have been caused by a sharp instrument. Shorty, allegedly falsely accused, has since been adopted.

The day after the attack on Holden, Kathryn tested positive for cocaine and methadone and allegedly had a history of prescription drug abuse. On May 15, 2009, they formally charged Kathryn Nadal with the mutilation of her son.
Today August 10, 2009, a jury will hear opening statements in the case against Kathryn Nadal. Her son, Holden, is with his father, Camden Gothia, and still on the road to recovery from his wounds.




Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Current Events: Another Child Molester Off The Streets? - For Now

On Friday night July 17, 2009, Minorva Murillo was doing her laundry at the mobile home park near Greenfield Road and Apache Trail in Apache Junction, Arizona when she heard her baby Jenifer, age 2 ½, scream. Minorva ran outside to find Jenifer gone. She asked her other children where Jenifer was and they said they didn’t know. Minorva called the police. A search followed and lasted throughout the night. Minorva told the police of a man she’d seen about an hour before her child went missing and gave a description of him. The police learned he was staying at the mobile home park.

Jenifer was found at his house and police arrested the man, 21-year-old, Alec Holtz. Jenifer was in good spirits despite what she endured during her 19-hour stay with a now accused child molester. Sunday the 19th of July police charged Holtz with child molestation, kidnaping and child endangerment.

I pray if this man is guilty that he is put away for a very long time and not simply a few years. The sentencing of these criminals who violate our children is ridiculous. Yes, prisons are full; yes, they go through the required procedures but they do not need to be let back out on the streets to ‘re offend.’ Holtz allegedly has raped a 2 ½ year-old baby! Will an ankle bracelet be enough? I am not sure it will. These monitors are not going to tell an understaffed, overworked and underpaid parole officer the suspect is in the presence of a child; unless by fate’s intervention their monitor status is checked while they are abducting a child. They aren’t going to show the suspect is in the act of violating a child. All they will do is - ‘after’ a child has gone missing - show that the suspect was in the approximate area. Out of his or her required distance of a child.


Thursday, July 9, 2009

Personal Entry: Hands of Friendship and Thoughts of Abuse

As I sit here thinking of how friendship is special, I think of how it isn’t set on a time limit or penciled scheduling; it’s constant, vigilant and caring. I think of how it’s there any given time speaking words of encouragement, listening and understanding, that it’s not setting terms. I think of how it’s the hand held out in time of need, a hand saying I am here to help you shoulder your troubles, just let them go.

I sit here thinking of abuse and how I wonder if I’ll ever close the bedroom door again, if the fear someone could come up to it unseen will ever allow me to close it. And I think of that hand. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep with my back turned to the door again. I wonder if the need to have it wide open is so I can see down the dark corridor of the hallway. I wonder if the need to know, to see what and who is there will ever stop and peace will fill my nights again.

And while thinking I find a nervousness inside me begin to churn and that I need that hand of friendship to talk with. I think of how I must constantly move, not knowing true restfulness; of how I suddenly find myself awake and sitting in the middle of the bed or sitting with my feet on the floor, ready for a quick exit. I think of how the smallest of unrecognized sound brings my head up, my ears and eyes alert. I think of the need to shelter myself; I think of that need to self-protect emotionally by internalizing the actions of another. I think of the mind-set of an abuser, wondering why they can’t reach out their hands in love and caring and not resentfulness, anger or violence. I wonder if it’s something inside them that creates a spur of the moment action or if it’s been there all along and suddenly rages.

I wonder about the anger that stems from the abusers’ health, and how ones physical health causes personality changes. I wonder if a way exists to really understand what goes on in another’s mind; the ones who appear born without conscience and only know how to live with an urge to cause hurt to animals or their fellow human beings. I think about the ‘I’m in it for the long haul’ effect, that ‘till death us do part’ line. And I know I must be there for the long haul but also need help with that hand of friendship beside me.

While I sit in the middle of the floor with space around me, I wonder why I need that space; if the need to know there’s an escape is a persistent factor in back of my mind. Why small spaces are not an option. And, I think of the hand of friendship, that one friend, who with patience waited for me to talk, giving me time to speak between the tears that I was shedding. Who with so much caring held out a hand and said, let me help shoulder your troubles; don’t you remember the faith you often spoke of in the past, of how you leaned on that faith? Let the hand of faith reach you tonight, take that hand held out to you. Take my hand of friendship as it was His and let the light of His love fill your heart; know you have the strength to endure, you will persevere, you will become a stronger person. You will overcome the obstacles you feel are binding you.

I think of all the Advocates out there, those Hands held out like the hand of Susan Murphy Milano, Anny Jacoby and Delilah; I think of all the other advocates and how they daily reach out and help. I think of how, by being the shoulder for abused ones’ tears, they are true Hands. I think of the hand of friendship that reached out to me, of the shows I have heard, the tears I’ve shed for victims, the joy I’ve felt knowing an abused person has found just the right Hand.

And so, I sit here tonight and think of how friendship is mostly the hand of God at work, always waiting for me to take His hand and put all the worries on His shoulders.

But still, I wonder about that escape.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Current Events: Victoria Balfour and People vs. Ayers

I have always believed a good defense attorney should argue vigorously for his or her client’s rights. If that argument includes adding a journalist, who was for all intent and purposes part of the investigation, to the witness list, then so be it. However, the more I read of the story, the more questions I had.

The facts appear simple - Victoria Balfour is a journalist for the San Diego Reader, and she wants to report on the People vs. Ayres trial and write a book on this case. For that reason she has kept a close eye on all the events surrounding its progress. You may say that just because she wants to write a book doesn’t mean they should allow her to sit in during trial. You would be correct to argue that view. Still, the system should not muzzle anyone’s right to freedom of speech. So, I believe, they should allow reporter Victoria Balfour to sit in court and report on the facts of this case. The book isn’t the issue, the journalist rights are at issue.

Victoria Balfour isn’t on the prosecution witness list, although, from what Robin Sax reports, Balfour did, as an investigative reporter, give the DA information that helped them in their decision to bring this case to trial. The fact she isn’t on the witness list for the prosecution tells me they do not feel she can add anything to their case during trial. I, too, wonder just what she can add to the defense case. I would think they’d feel she could harm their case, not help it. So I’m getting those hmm moments that make me curious. What are the reasons for adding her to the list of possible witnesses?

I am agreeing with Robin Sax, why hasn’t the Prosecutor come forth and argue that the defense show cause for adding Balfour to their witness list? Especially since they apparently haven’t contacted her prior or since including her.

One could argue that she could purchase a copy of the court manuscript to help write a book that includes the trial facts. But, I believe that is a wrong argument. A writer needs more than words spoken by a person. She (He) needs to give the reader such a clear picture that each reader is inside the witnesses’ mind so they can see how each witness became part of the events of the case. She (He) needs to see the defense attorney and prosecutor in action to write chapters that come to life on the pages and put the reader in that courtroom. Otherwise, the book would be clinical. Boring!

And, too, otherwise the book would leave the readers with questions about why the author calls her or himself an author or a journalist. If I were a juror, if I not only hear the witnesses’ testimony but pay attention to how they present their testimony before making a decision on whether to disregard parts or all of their testimony, I’d be well informed to do just that. A journalist is well informed when they pay close attention to the facts. They can then report truths and not opinion.

Again, I say, it’s not the book Balfour aspires to write that is at issue, it’s her right as a journalist to do her job and report on the trial. I have to wonder that if they exclude her from attending the trial so she can do her job and do it well, if they are muzzling her freedom of speech.


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Is Caring- That Human, And Parental Instinct, Out of Commission?

So often we read of severe abuse and death of our children at the hands of parents . . . by a family member or a sibling. Have we become so mechanized that maternal and paternal instincts are extinct? Has brotherly love become a thing of the past?

We so often hear of a child gone missing, of an infant being found in a trash-dumpster or thrown into a body of water, and off overpasses. So often we read of a missing child believed deceased and buried in an unmarked grave somewhere unknown.

Sometimes I feel an overload and can’t center my thoughts or my prayers on just one missing child or just one missing adult. I can’t sit and write about just one bruised, battered body of an adult or child found murdered at the hands of those entrusted with their care. With the one who promised in marital vows to love, honor and obey (meaning to respect the others wishes) until death do us part - not until they cause the death.

Today, as I sit thinking of children, little Jaliek Rainwalker comes to mind - a child yet found but believed deceased by the many not the few, allegedly at the hands of a person supposedly to have loved and cared for him. I think of little Trenton Ducket - another precious child unfound but believed deceased. I think of Josef Smith- brutally treated like a a possession and killed by his parents in the name of ‘spare-the-rod' love. I think of Sean Paddock horribly abused by his adoptive mother and died due to her punishments. I think of Caylee Anthony believed killed at the hands of her mother. I think of Daisja Weaver, an infant, yet found but believed deceased, whose parent allegedly threw off a bridge into a body of water. I think of little Laycee Johnson a 13-month-old whom her babysitter brutally beat about the head so badly her abuser killer’s knuckle prints were allegedly visible when she reached the hospital. I think of Emma Lee Barker, 18 months, allegedly smothered at the hands of her mother and left in tall grass on the side of an interstate. I think of Alycia Mesiti, age 14, allegedly killed by her father. I think of Ebony Dorsey, age 14, sexually assaulted and murdered by her mother’s boyfriend.

I think of all the child victims’ at the hands of those entrusted with their care, those who should love and protect them - those whose names I only recognize when hearing them. And all those I do not know about, or whose names have vanished into my memory so deeply that I can’t recall their names. Sadly, I’ve read of so many murdered children that I can’t readily list them.

Is this our children their children’s future? Will what we have always thought of as ageless and undying - that natural and instinctive parental love - become obsolete?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Current Events In The News

The Death of Constance Shepherd - Part 2
I am a little concerned that LE is sending the Constance Shepherd death case to the grand jury so quickly after the discovery of her body. Her husband, Stephen Shepherd, is accused of her brutal murder. Stephen allegedly used a sword, slashed her throat and then fled from the crime scene. He was found in the Catskills the day after they discovered Connie’s body.

But my worry is that this case is barely a week old, and LE is confident they have enough good evidence to send it to grand jury and get a true bill. Was there no DNA evidence at the scene, no trace evidence, or fingerprints on the weapon? How can they get results from forensics so soon, within a week? Is Stephen mentally stable?

Stephen pleaded not-guilty to second-degree murder Thursday the 28th of May. I pray LE isn’t overly confident and doesn’t rush this case. Constance deserves justice and to get that justice, she must have a well-prepared, solid case built so her killer will get his fair trial.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Current Events In The News

The Death of Constance Shepherd
On May 19th around 11PM neighbor Aurelia Closser noticed something out of ordinary at her neighbor’s home. The home was dark, the bedroom and kitchen lights weren’t on as usual. The next morning a man knocked on Closser’s door and requested to use the phone, he was the new owner of the home that had been in foreclosure. The man called 9-1-1.

When police arrived, they discovered no evidence that anyone was packed to move out, and a deceased female. A few hours later they issued a warrant for a man named Stephen Shepherd, the other person living in the home. Mr. Shepherd was located in Shandaken, NY, about 80 miles southwest of Albany Thursday the 21st and police took him into custody. His truck was found at a place known as ‘fishing spot.’

On Friday, the 22nd Stephen Shepherd went before a Judge and did not enter a plea. They charged him with second-degree murder in the death of his wife Constance Shepherd. Mrs. Shepherd’s throat was slashed with a knife the size of a sword.

The neighbors of the Shepherds have said Stephen acted like he always had a chip on his shoulder and appeared domineering and controlling. One has to wonder, did he blame Constance for the foreclosure of his home or killed her to spare her the ordeal of being homeless? Or is he simply a selfish individual and murdered her from some revengeful and evil reason of his own?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Personal Blog Entry

Of Whom I Admire
You've heard people say, 'It's my nature’ - well, it's time to listen to your nature instinct, to stand up for the rights of victims everywhere who suffer from verbal and physical abuse. The wind's gentle breeze hears nature's whispers - and those of the lonely, the hurt, the lost, the defenseless. Susan Murphy-Milano listens to hers. Do you?

Go here - http://peace4themissing.blogspot.com/ read 'Blue Defends Blue' - take a moment to reflect on paragraph 8 and the part that reads 'I never compromise an investigation or a victim's life.' I am of the belief that a truer statement has never been written. Through all months I have followed Susan Murphy-Milano's Journal at http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/, her articles on 'Women In Crime Ink', and listened to the BTR show 'Justice Interrupted' that she co-hosts with Robin Sax and Stacy Dittrich, I have never known her to say or write anything that I, as a follower and blogger, a non cop, feel could hinder LE in any way with an investigation. I have never felt she said anything on her show http://www.blogtalkradio.com/SusanMurphyMilano either. All I hear is how those in need of domestic violence help, how those spouses of abusing cops, can detail the abuse they experience on a daily basis and who to turn to for help to stop the abuse.

Susan is an advocate of the abused. She is there for them when others turn their back. She fights for them, the abused spouses of LE Officers - those cases that are clear-cut abuse cases, not just the accusations of someone who wants to dirty her or his spouse's name. And if in that battle it means taking down an alleged 'good cop's' name within his or her department if that cop is abusing his spouse and children, then so be it - Victims have rights too!

Let hope and pray that no one ever successfully puts a muzzle on Susan's voice or her pen.





Monday, May 18, 2009

Current Events In The News

Child Rapist Have Too Many Rights!

They charged Cesar Najera-Zavala with molestation of a 10-year-old in Garland, TX today. The child was a student at the Amiel Christian School where Zavala, age 55, was working as a private school director. Although Zavala is under a 50 thousand dollar bond, and LE is looking for more possible victims’ ages 3-14 . . . when he goes to court, I wonder if he will get a similar sentence as David Harold Earls, age 64, got in McAlester, Oklahoma. Earls pleaded no contest to the rape and sodomy of a 5-year-old and sentenced to one year in prison.

Granted, Earls must comply with the law and register as a sex offender when he is freed but will that stop him from ruining another child’s life? Did he choose a small child because he knew her ability to testify would turn in his favor? Has he done it before and gotten away with it because no one reported the abuse?

I am upset over these cases! When will it stop? When will the laws protect our children? Men like Cesar Najera-Zavala and David Harold Earls should not walk the streets as free men again. I think Zavala’s bond should be higher than 50 thousand. He can pay a percentage of that and go free until his trial date.



Friday, May 15, 2009

Current Events In The News

Chat Rebuff Murder
Who are those faceless individuals on the other end of our chat screens? Does the option to allow others to see our personal information mean we are setting our self up as a possible stalking victim? Does the innocent action of sharing a picture of us speak of really knowing the one whom we shared with? Is it a fact that chat is more for fabricating our self than talking to an alleged 'friends’ list' person we meet? Can we really ever know that person?

Maybe a recent incident in New York is a reason to look more closely at what information we share regarding our real self - our real life.

Dennis Raymond, a 35 -year-old man met Nimzay (NIM'-Zay) Aponte in an online chat and when she rebuffed him, he allegedly tracked her down to New York Bronx Park and stabbed her to death.

Hopefully we will hear more of this murder in the future. Perhaps we will learn Dennis is mentally unstable and hates women, especially those who rebuff him. Perhaps we will hear that he is completely sane just mad because she rebuffed him. Maybe we will hear he is just evil and simply wanted to know what it was like to watch someone die and chose Nimzay as his victim.
No matter the reason he murdered, it gives us reason to think about our safety online.


Current Events In The News: Micah is dead - Her killer is free to leave state

Micah is dead - Her killer is free to leave state

Apparently, while one neighbor stated that her daughter said while Thomas Pate was talking with a LE officer he didn’t appear sad, others said he was visibly upset and crying when they saw him. I do not know Thomas Pate nor did I know Micah. I do know her death was senseless and unnecessary. Life throws many obstacles at us but stooping to killing is not the answer to our troubles. That is not to say the admitted shooter deliberately killed his wife, it is to say I have a right to question his version in my mind.

I have tried and tried to imagine a scenario where someone can accidentally shoot another person in the back of the head. I just can’t do it. I suppose someone is seeing how it could happen - And/or they don’t feel they could gain a conviction on a higher charge because they charged Thomas Pate with second-degree murder and not murder one. They are much wiser than me and without a doubt more experienced in crime investigations for sure.

I am upset that they let out Thomas Pate of jail (shall I say for free) on a 250 thousand-dollar bond. Which, of course, means he put up a small percentage of that money, walked out of jailhouse basically free to go and do as he pleased until his trial. Due to the infamous wisdom of our legal system they allowed Thomas to not only be a free man but allowed him to move out of state and to Atlanta so he could work.

I am picturing this - a man and woman standing at or near a river, one leaves as a living breathing person, the other lies on the cold damp ground with her soul above her staring down on her body. Had Thomas and Micah argued, did they struggle for control of the gun? Why did they have a gun with them? Why did he have it with him? Was her death preplanned and he is a good pretender, an Emmy award actor who pulled the wool over some seemingly intelligent law enforcement officers? Over a Judge? Was she standing with her back to him and he raised his gun to shoot a snake or some other creature over her and about to endanger her life and shot her instead? Or was he the snake?

I do not know the answers to these questions floating in my head. Thomas Pate could be the most wonderful man on earth. He could be a lousy jerk. He could be a liar. He could be - just be. However, I know he is an admitted shooter, a killer who killed a woman, his wife, a lady who chose nursing as her profession so she could help others.

I do know I like the lady’s daughter that said "He was just standing out there talking to the cops and he didn't look sad he didn't look anything so he just looked suspicious... So automatically you had an uneasy feeling... Yes." the night he reported her missing. I think that person is very intuitive.





Sunday, May 3, 2009

Current Events in The News: Another Husband Kills Wife Story

Another Husband Kills Wife Story

No one, except Thomas and the police knows why Thomas Pate killed his wife, Micah Pate. No one knows why he used a gun that night. What friends, family and police know is that Thursday, April 30, 2009 around 10:30 P.M. Thomas Pate called Bartlett Tennessee police and reported his 26-year-old wife had gone for her jog and did not return home. Friday evening her body was found in the Loosahatchie River Bottoms about five miles from her home. Thomas had told police she had been shot accidentally and advised where he’d dumped her body. Micah’s reported missing, and later Thomas admitting he’d killed her, has the people of the neighborhood, her family and friends in shock.

Coworkers knew something wasn’t right when Micah didn’t show up for work Friday morning at a local OBGYN clinic. They became worried about their friend. The OBGYN clinic closed Friday afternoon and coworkers helped search for her, handing out posters and asking people if they had seen the young woman. One neighbor stated Thomas came to their home crying over her missing; another stated he didn’t remember seeing Micah jogging Thursday evening and if she had he’d likely have seen her.

Micah and Thomas seemed a happy and content young couple often working in their yard. She a nurse and he worked from home for a physician's recruiting agency. The news reports that neighbors said Micah often walked her dog, waving at neighbors and allowing the dog to stop and visit a few minutes. She was well liked and a friendly person.

They charged Thomas Pate with second degree murder but a date for his first court appearance hasn’t been set. As Thomas awaits his fate, Micah’s family is trying to deal with the tragic events that were thrust upon them. The family has not made arrangements for her funeral.

Friday, April 17, 2009

The Bile of Speculation

The bile of speculation speed through the coarse similes of ruins in what was once beautiful days carrying the victims of words along for the bumpy ride.

We are human, and as humans we are sometimes cold and unfeeling. We are not perfect, and we show these negative qualities far too frequently.

Sadly, we take the rights given us by our forefathers for granted and do not always consider how powerful are the words we so easily use as knives. Does that make us different from a person who literally uses a material knife to harm others? Yes. However, it doesn't make us right nor does it always make the words right. While graves of discontent envelope others, we sit unknowing of the person they are inside and judge them with words. We speculate about them due to their lifestyle, their looks, the vehicle they drive, whether they smoke, drink and how they dress. We do all this conjecturing without really knowing them. Sometimes, the way people carry themselves, the way they act and react says a lot about them, but it doesn't mean they are truly worthy of total disrespect. And those actions do not mean they are trash, dirt bags, druggies, murderers or abusers.

Anytime tragic events encapsulate people with a family member unwillingly gone missing, the family left behind become instant suspects in the eyes of law enforcement. More often than not, they can’t fully vindicate no family member until proof that someone outside the family is a proven suspect, and charged with a crime. This is also what happens when someone abuses or murders a family member. We, the ones looking in from outside, suspect the victim’s family just as law enforcement does. We violate their rights in the name of right to know before law enforcement brings charges against them or some other suspect. We watch their every movement, add emphasis to their every spoken word, every eye movement, questioning them in our minds and searching for some deplorable evil being living inside their souls.

And unfortunately, later, if law enforcement has shown the people demeaned by the public's opinion as nothing more than victims of tragedy, we do not bother feeling guilt or remorse for our words and actions during their heartbreaking days of sorrow. More sadly is the fact that we blame them for our verbal attacks on their character, vindicating our actions as normal human nature because in our minds it was they who showed guilt. When in fact, all they were doing is showing hurt and pain and sorrow over the tragedy that blanketed their life.

Words can push people into shadowy corners cowering in fear, but they can also cause people to hold their heads high and give them strength to endure. I only wish more would aspire to use words to help others have that strength to endure. All families do not have killers and abusers hiding in their closets; they are truly victims of crime, just as, but not as horrific, as the one physically attacked, abused or murdered.

Friday, April 10, 2009


And he was being watched by whom? Just what was Riley doing in the group home? Was it for so called 'therapy' so he would be a good boy when out in public?

But an upside, somewhat, of the story of child molesters: http://www.news10.net/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=57610&catid=2

Hooray! Good work Placard County, CA! Still, I wonder how many years of that 16 year sentence this slime will actually serve in prison? This isn't the first time he's sexually attacked children. Justice for the victim, via his own guilty plea, of the recent child rape improved over a previous one- they only gave him 6 years in 1984 -

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Alleged Lies and The Murder Of Lori Kastner

When Lori Moon married John Robert Kastner in 1985, it was the beginning of the end for her. Lori, former Oklahoma Supreme Court attorney, died as she slept from a gunshot wound to the head, allegedly by her husband on June 25, 2008. John Robert Kastner was a Webster High School teacher and they arrested and charged him with her murder. There began the dissemination of an alleged life of lies.

When police arrived on the scene, they discovered Robert Kastner with a gunshot wound to his hand, Lori Kastner dead in her bed, and a home invasion scenario inside and outside the home.
Kastner told police an intruder, a dark-complexioned white or American Indian man, was standing at the foot of his bed holding a gun - belonging to Kastner - in his hand and asking ‘where is Whitney’ - the name of Kastner's adopted daughter. Whitney wasn't home. Kastner said he struggled with the intruder and in that struggle grabbed the barrel of the gun; it was then he was shot in the hand. He told them the intruder had shot Lori in the head and when he heard her moaning, shot her again.

Kastner's story of the intruder began changing with each telling of how his wife was shot twice. As he continued to live in his fantasy lies, the police lived in reality and became suspicious. Kastner's friends became suspicious too. Kastner had allegedly told them, the school administration and his students many stories over the years. One was that a philanthropist was going to make a large grant to boost academic programs, then that he'd gotten a huge trust fund and was planning to create a foundation. However, those alleged lies were only the tips of the iceberg. Kastner had convinced his wife Lori they were factual; she'd resigned her job and made plans to oversee the ‘713 Foundation’ with her husband.

Did love's rose-colored glasses have a strong grip on a seemingly intelligent woman and that love cost her life?

Kastner filed a pauper’s affidavit and represented by a public defender Marny Hill but wants to have the lead role in his own trial. His trial date is set for August 17, 2009.

Predators Among Us

When hearing the media reports yesterday that Sandra Cantu was found in a piece of luggage on wheels floating in a pond, my heart broke for her, and her family. Some sick perverted person killed her and stuffed her in that bag. Although they had not preformed an autopsy then, the news gives me reason to believe she was sexually assaulted prior to her death. When are we going to stop allowing these predators to live freely in our neighborhoods where children live! Who cares that they’ve done their time, paid their due for a previous crime? You cannot, cannot, cannot, make a person who abuses children well! The urge will always be with them and they will do it again, and again despite any help with pills or therapy they receive.

Something needs done! Laws need to change in all states. LE needs more officers to handle these people at a moment’s notice; they need to keep a check on them several times a day. They need officers physically going to the predators’ homes and not simply depend on bracelets some must wear. Nor do they need to just accept that predators will check in with LE and parole officers. They need the right to check on them even after they’ve done their ‘time’ - ‘paid their dues’ for previous crimes if they are on the sex offender list. Perverted sex offenders should feel in prison even outside prison! These molesters are still molesters after they leave prison and do not need to live in areas where children live! To have them move blocks away, a mile away is not acceptable.

I realize it’s a pipe dream that victims could ever have more rights than rapists and murderers but the laws can’t take away our hope that the dream needs to become reality.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Motionless Fabrication

The mind is a wondrous thing, a living documentary of all we have known, said, written and done. If we could pull up each minute, each moment of our life then we'd know that the good moments outweigh the bad, the sad, and the tearful; the happy moments would be there to replay at leisure. And we could be happier because we would remember what makes us happy and instantly work to keep that frame of mind alive in our hearts. We'd know how often those we care for - even strangers in a crowd - showed us love, caring and support; just how often single smiles from friends, strangers and loved ones made daily frustrations disappear. We would simply know what is right with our life and what isn't right because we would have all the past rights and wrongs as instant examples.

However, it doesn't work that way.

We begin our life in the nurturing arms of contentment, we feel safe and loved, we are innocent of real wrongs and give love to all people as naturally as they give it to us. But as we grow, we store all that contentment in a file of forgotten. Perhaps that is why we repeat wrongs more often than we repeat rights. Why we continually fail to be all that we can be, all that we are. Why we ‘fabricate’ our self.

When one feels caught in the throes of motionlessness, disappointed but more like we are a disappointment, then there is no stability in reaction to actions . . . it's a catch 22. We’re constantly on the defensive and that doesn't lead to an ease of mind and soul - to happiness, to allowing security to wrap around the heart - the soul. And because that security floats past and doesn’t settle, we question, why can’t we just be; just for a little while just be? Maybe, it’s because we don’t stop and think about past mistakes, past wrongs, those moments of not having compassion, of not understanding that we aren’t alone in this world. We think only of now, of our self, what is happening right now to us. We do not consider the times that we did not show compassion or love or a smile of assurance of faith in others; those moments go into that forgotten file.

Life can be full of obstacles creating a motionlessness and lack spark, and we wonder - what has happened to the purpose? What has happened to the duct that allowed our happiness breeze to tickle the heart - that makes smiles an integral part of life? What has happen to the upgrade of emotions just because that upgrade is an internal need, wanted.

In our mind, we are the one who needs, who wants, who deserves - and in that, we are selfish. But we are also the only one who can reconsider the right of showing compassion, of showing love toward others just as we would want them to give us. And in showing love and compassion change ourselves into a happier person, and into the person we emotionally strive to be. Perhaps we should look into the mirror and tell our self, 'I miss you, the real you, the happy you,' and then begin that change. Then when that trigger of happiness is feeling frozen in place - like a block of ice thrown into the shadows where no spark of light can filter - we will automatically know how we can just be ourselves and sweep away those shadows.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Caylee - The Child Lost

I cannot write much on the seemingly never-ending Casey Anthony debacle because I believe there’s nothing but the verdict by 12 people left to say. We have already written all that we can write of her. I don’t believe she deserves to have the media flash her face on television; all she deserves is for us to forget she ever existed because showing her on TV and discussing her on talk shows is giving her what she craves - attention. Only Caylee deserves remembrance.

A child was lost in her mother’s heart before she was born, and a person of the lowest of the slime killed her; I wonder if the slime of the world would consider anyone calling Casey slime as a slap in their face, if even they would want her to be initiated into their crowd.

Caylee’s precious face will live forever in the hearts of Americans, loved more than she ever was when she lived. I believe she died at the hands of her mother, not a mom. Just as any man can be a father, any woman can be a mother but it takes a special person to be a dad or mom.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

What Was Is No More

Sadly, it seems that as the flag waves on we no longer stand for one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all. We are divided - in the system, in our lives, in family, in all we do and say. We are victims of our thoughts, actions and reactions. Parents are killing kids, kids are killing parents, spouses are killing spouses and neighbors are attacking neighbors. We abuse our animals. We decide our way is the only way and go on shooting rampages because others disagree with us, we fail each other and ourselves daily. We fail our children.

And the Flag waves on.

Crime is rampant in America and the fate of the tragic events of the economy isn’t the cause. We were failing before this depressive economy caused families to lose their homes, their cars and their jobs. We were failing before price of gas went up, and before the cost of food rose. We are our own enemy. All anyone has to do is a search through the internet, the courts, and the local newspapers to see the sad truths of our failures. All one has to do is watch a few criminal trials to see how the definition of reasonable doubt is vanishing in the jury room of our courts. Read how laws made are being outlawed, how stiff penalties are becoming obsolete, how one state is trying to pass legislation to let prisoners go free due to their age. And if they pass the legislation then murderers, child rapists, wife killers, and husband killers that they sent to prison for life without parole will again walk the streets. Their victims’ family may as well stand on the corner and say ‘here I am, ready to be victimized again’ because that is what can or likely will happen.

And the Flag waves on.

Our soldiers die daily for the rights we wrongly use. Our law enforcement men and women die because hatred is more prevalent than understanding; drugs and violence mean more than another human’s life. The accused have more rights than the victims. Freedom of speech has become nothing more than a bile of speculation, destroying lives and reputations. The right to know is feeding curious minds a main course of disdain and frustration. And we enjoy it, feed off it, blog on it, discuss and debate and then sit back and smugly watch the backlash. We thrive on so-called reality shows where encouragement of new found friends to speak badly of each other and vote against them for the sake of network ratings is prevalent. Where we are forced to choose one talent over another because only 1 is deserving. Where we make cartoons in disguise of adult ratings knowing children will watch children bad mouthing parents and parents allowing disobedience. We make movies with violence in nearly every clip; With vulgar language heard in every sentence. We have lost our morality and what our forefathers dreamed for this country to become - where the Preamble to the Constitution is nothing more than archaic words on dingy paper.

But the Flag does wave on.