The Death of Amanda Schafer

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Scott Myers spent August 5, 2010 drinking and arguing with Amanda Schafer at the home of her dad in Oviedo, Florida. A friend who had spent time at the home between 11:00 A.M.and 4:00 P.M. allegedly told the police about the arguments.


Amanda’s father had called her around 4:50 P.M. and she advised him Scott had broken a door at the home. A few minutes later Mr. Schafer called Amanda again but Scott answered the phone and he told him that Amanda was in the bathroom cleaning up and couldn’t come to the phone. Mr. Schafer attempted calling his daughter several times after speaking with Scott but no one answered. Mr. Schafer went home. When arriving he found his daughter’s rental car missing and his stiff, unresponsive daughter on her bedroom floor lying in a pool of blood. He called 911and with a distraught and panic stricken voice asked for help, telling the operator that he believed Scott had killed his daughter.

Thanks to his mother, around 9:00 P.M. Scott turned himself in to police in Winter Springs and they transported him to the Oviedo police department. The police noticed Scott had a cut on the inside area of his right hand. Scott allegedly told them Amanda had committed suicide but later, after they told him she couldn’t stab herself numerous times; not in some areas where wounds were located, he allegedly admitted he’d stabbed her. Of course Scott also allegedly blamed the victim to, he is said to have stated that Amanda had assaulted him as he was washing dishes and he lost control and stabbed her with the knife then took her car and left.

They have Scott Allen Myers charged with Amanda’s murder and grand theft auto and he is in Oviedo, jailed without a bond. I look for a self defense plea and blame the victim when this case goes to trial.

According to some friends of Amanda’s the two having arguments was allegedly a common thing and they had encouraged her to get away from him. In one article I read, http://www.cfnews13.com  a friend of Amanda’s, Andrew Frederick stated, ‘he had her locked in the head, to the point she couldn’t really do anything.’ Yes, unfortunately, it’s too late for Amanda to make use of ‘Time’s Up: A Guide How to Escape Abusive and Stalking Relationships now. However, it isn’t too late for other victims if this guide were available in police departments, libraries and churches everywhere!

Had 21-year-old Amanda Schafer known of this book perhaps her life could’ve been spared. That couldn’t really do anything feeling is a sad view many domestic violence victims have, but help can be found. This book by Susan Murphy Milano, a well-known advocate for victims of domestic violence, is the help needed. The answer to people’s question 'why didn’t she just leave?' - when they read of domestic violence murders, has an answer in the book. One answer is a common sense one for those who have been through abusive relationships, fear. But Susan Murphy Milano has given fear a new definition, - Facilitate Ending, Abusive, Relationships. This can be accomplished!


http://www.cfnews13.com/static/articles/images/documents/Meyrs_Arrest_Aff..pdf

Time's Up - A Book of Distinction

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Until Susan Murphy Milano educated us all on the meaning of the term ‘Domestic Abuse,’ and it's long term effect on women and children of the abused, anytime we heard of LE going to a home where a husband and wife were 'arguing,' one slapped the other stuff is the way we viewed it. Marital discord, family spat, heated argument - those were the terms we read and believed was truth in these situations. The incidents were nothing more than a shrug and head shake of ‘shame on them disgust,’ and quickly forgotten.


I read another blog piece on ‘Psychology Today,’ praising this book and the author, Robin Sax, mentioned OJ Simpson. That mention got me to thinking; I can’t remember spouse abuse of any kind being seriously discussed on talk shows before the OJ trial. Before the murder trial, when OJ Simpson beat on Nicole and she called the cops, they basically overlooked and did not really see abuse for what it really was, domestic violence; they saw him as the great football hero, Nicole as the argumentative wife with an attitude. Unfortunately, we saw domestic violence that way throughout the US long before they made Nicole’s abuse public; wives had an attitude and they were just ungrateful. The first question spouses were and, sadly, often still asked is 'What did You do to deserve it?' That question makes my blood pressure rise! In truth, wives do nothing to deserve it! Nobody deserves to be hit or beaten in any way. Now we see 'marital discord' that becomes physical for what it is - Abuse! And it's abuse that could, and too often does, escalate to murder.

Women (and men who are abused) need ‘Time’s Up’. They not only need to read it, to think about their own situations, but need to be proactive and protect themselves and their children from an abuser. I think of Micah Pate, killed in April of 2009, and wonder how often or if she was abused by her husband, Thomas, prior to her murder. He claims accidental shooting but, (and that is a huge but) his story doesn’t add up in my mind. I think Micah could have greatly benefitted from ‘Time’s Up’ and it’s roadmap of advice.

‘Time’s Up’ is the best gift a person can give a friend whom they believe is in an abusive relationship. Teens need this book; teens abusing their girlfriend or boyfriend are more prevalent than many realize. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse is escalating in teens.

To quote Robin Sax - To say that Susan Murphy Milano has hit the nail on the head (again) is a total understatement! How true! That is more than an understatement; Susan has hit the nail dead-center, choreographed a life-saving-roadmap for the abused. No word can adequately express or exemplify how important ‘Time’s Up’ is for victims of abuse.

'Time's Up' is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. Hopefully, we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.



(I hope I haven't infringed on copyrights by using the 'Time's Up' bookcover graphic. If so, I heartily apologize and will be happy to delete)

Personal Entry: Hands of Friendship and Thoughts of Abuse

　
As I sit here thinking of how friendship is special, I think of how it isn’t set on a time limit or penciled scheduling; it’s constant, vigilant and caring. I think of how it’s there any given time speaking words of encouragement, listening and understanding, that it’s not setting terms. I think of how it’s the hand held out in time of need, a hand saying I am here to help you shoulder your troubles, just let them go.

I sit here thinking of abuse and how I wonder if I’ll ever close the bedroom door again, if the fear someone could come up to it unseen will ever allow me to close it. And I think of that hand. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep with my back turned to the door again. I wonder if the need to have it wide open is so I can see down the dark corridor of the hallway. I wonder if the need to know, to see what and who is there will ever stop and peace will fill my nights again.

And while thinking I find a nervousness inside me begin to churn and that I need that hand of friendship to talk with. I think of how I must constantly move, not knowing true restfulness; of how I suddenly find myself awake and sitting in the middle of the bed or sitting with my feet on the floor, ready for a quick exit. I think of how the smallest of unrecognized sound brings my head up, my ears and eyes alert. I think of the need to shelter myself; I think of that need to self-protect emotionally by internalizing the actions of another. I think of the mind-set of an abuser, wondering why they can’t reach out their hands in love and caring and not resentfulness, anger or violence. I wonder if it’s something inside them that creates a spur of the moment action or if it’s been there all along and suddenly rages.

I wonder about the anger that stems from the abusers’ health, and how ones physical health causes personality changes. I wonder if a way exists to really understand what goes on in another’s mind; the ones who appear born without conscience and only know how to live with an urge to cause hurt to animals or their fellow human beings. I think about the ‘I’m in it for the long haul’ effect, that ‘till death us do part’ line. And I know I must be there for the long haul but also need help with that hand of friendship beside me.

While I sit in the middle of the floor with space around me, I wonder why I need that space; if the need to know there’s an escape is a persistent factor in back of my mind. Why small spaces are not an option. And, I think of the hand of friendship, that one friend, who with patience waited for me to talk, giving me time to speak between the tears that I was shedding. Who with so much caring held out a hand and said, let me help shoulder your troubles; don’t you remember the faith you often spoke of in the past, of how you leaned on that faith? Let the hand of faith reach you tonight, take that hand held out to you. Take my hand of friendship as it was His and let the light of His love fill your heart; know you have the strength to endure, you will persevere, you will become a stronger person. You will overcome the obstacles you feel are binding you.

I think of all the Advocates out there, those Hands held out like the hand of Susan Murphy Milano, Anny Jacoby and Delilah; I think of all the other advocates and how they daily reach out and help. I think of how, by being the shoulder for abused ones’ tears, they are true Hands. I think of the hand of friendship that reached out to me, of the shows I have heard, the tears I’ve shed for victims, the joy I’ve felt knowing an abused person has found just the right Hand.

And so, I sit here tonight and think of how friendship is mostly the hand of God at work, always waiting for me to take His hand and put all the worries on His shoulders.

But still, I wonder about that escape.