There Was Time To Save Karen's Life

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Yes, there was time and a way to save Karen’s life.

Karen Denise Thomas was married to Terrence Thomas for 12 years before he choked her to death,  drove to a bridge then dumped her body in the Loosahatchie River. On Oct 12, 2012 Terrence falsely filed a missing person report on his wife saying she had left but had not said where she was going. On Monday the 15^th her car was found in the parking lot of the Garden Ridge store. On Thursday the 18th her body was discovered floating face down in the Loosahatchie River. After her body was found and Terrence was questioned by police and admitted he’d strangled his wife and dumped her body.

Terrence is charged with first-degree murder and false offense reporting. And set to be arraigned Monday, Oct 22, 2012.

Her life could have been saved. Allegedly, over the 12 years of marriage upwards of 6 domestic violence reports were made. Sadly, no charges were ever made. So there was no prosecution. This is a case of what I call, domestic blinders, the ol’ rose-colored glasses syndrome. The victim likely thought it was all her fault, he was a good man, it won’t happen again, I upset him.

Had Karen read Susan Murphy Milano’s books, in particular ‘Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships’ she may have saved her own life. She could have utilized Chapter 4 and gotten out safely. She’d have learned she wasn’t at fault- She was the one being abused because she’d have learned what an abuser is and how they abuse. And if her friends and family had read the books they’d have seen what was happening and recognized it for what it was. They’d have recognized Terrence for what he was, a potential killer.

The Accused Edwin Coello’s Violence and Tina Adovasio’s Death

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This is a classic case with domestic violence prominent in the accused previous and present marital history.

Hello! Warning signs!

Edwin Coello lost his police officer job in 2000 due to domestic violence allegations during his first marriage.

In 2006 Tina Adovasio contacted police about Edwin’s violence against her, they charged him, but he was allowed to plea and got a conditional discharge. In 2007 he attacked her and she was hospitalized. UGH!

According to an article written in http://www.nydailynews.com/  Tina’s mom said Coello had beat Tina a couple years ago so badly she had to get stitches and had two black eyes.

In one of the cases of Edwin Coello attacking Tina she was holding their then one-year-old child in her arms; he grabbed the phone from her and threw it against the wall a couple times. His rage wasn’t abated yet so he proceeded to knock the stereo and trophies to the floor. He admitted to this later and excused his actions, including the hole in the wall as ‘I was pissed off.’ Yep, now  isn't that just the greatest of  reasons to cause such damage, frighten a baby and cause extreme emotional harm to his wife!

In Feb of this year Tina filed for divorce and got an order of protection.

Edwin Coello contested the divorce.

On March 11 of this year Tina disappeared.

On Monday 14, 2011 police picked up Edwin but released him hours later after they asked to search his car. The cops had wanted to search his car.

On Tuesday the police were able to seize his car for search.

On Wed Feb 15 Tina’s body was found in woods in Westchester County.

Folks, if you are in a violent relationship, know anyone who is going through abuse of any kind including emotional abuse then please, advise them or see they get a copy of the book: ‘Time’s Up: A guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships by Susan Murphy Milano

                                                                   
Many books exists on abuse and many organizations can help abuse victims. Including the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Yes, I do recommend you contact an organization. But Susan’s book is a must get, must read book in my opinion.

Sharon Worthy and The Death of Jesse F. Fisher, Jr. - Age 3

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When I first wrote a very short piece on Jesse Fisher, Jr. back in April this year, I was so angry over his death that I couldn’t say much. Except to say he’d died and the killer made an excuse, mom did it. I’m still angry about his dying by the hands of torture but I do feel I can now write another piece to update.

Sharon Worthy moved in with Curtis Leon Copeland around March 25, 2010. She was due to give birth to her third child any day. I do not understand why she moved in with a known felon. She wasn’t supposed to associate with anyone with a felony record. Sharon was no stranger to CPS since they’d had several reports concerning Sharon and the children. Sadly, children protective services didn’t or couldn’t protect little Jesse from his fate. Back in 07 CPS had investigated her for child neglect and abuse of Jesse but found no neglect. Again in 09 they received a report of two children under her care and again found no reason to believe the report. In Dec of that same year someone made another report but CPS filed it as ‘unable to determine’. Then in early March 2010 physical abuse was reported and CPS was still ‘investigating’ that report when Jesse died.

Perhaps CPS and the abuse charges were why she moved from Bowie, TX to Sanger, TX to live with Curtis - who knows. What I do know is she had many living relatives she could’ve left both Jesse and his one-year-old sibling with while she gave birth to her third child. Sharon is barely 21 and was 20 when they rushed Jesse, barely living, and bleeding from his nose and ears to the hospital. None of her three children have the same father. Jesse’s father Jesse Fisher, Sr was allegedly in prison.

On March 30, 2010, Sharon went to the hospital to give birth to her third son and later that same day, a 911 call was made concerning Jesse, Jr.. Curtis Copeland had told a neighbor that Jesse had fainted and asked her to make the call. When paramedics arrived, he was unconscious and bleeding. Later it was determined he had a broken pelvis and broken thoracic vertebrae, and severe head trauma. An examination also showed sexual abuse. Mr. Copeland tried saying when Sharon brought Jesse to his home she’d made a statement that he’d fallen down stairs. He also said Jesse had a bruised eye and other bruising and a bump on the head. Sharon told LE she’d witnessed Curtis slap Jesse so hard it knocked him down but admitted that she didn’t seek medical attention for him.

While Jesse was hospitalized, a social worker was in his room with Sharon and she allegedly stated that at no time did Sharon shed a tear or seem to be genuinely concerned for her son’s welfare. Allegedly, children services is attempting to remove Sharon Worthy’s and both father’s rights to her two living sons. I hope that happens. Curtis Copeland is allegedly not a father to any of Sharon’s children.

They charged Curtis Copeland with murder and Sharon Nicole Worthy with reckless injury to a child.

Time's Up - A Book of Distinction

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Until Susan Murphy Milano educated us all on the meaning of the term ‘Domestic Abuse,’ and it's long term effect on women and children of the abused, anytime we heard of LE going to a home where a husband and wife were 'arguing,' one slapped the other stuff is the way we viewed it. Marital discord, family spat, heated argument - those were the terms we read and believed was truth in these situations. The incidents were nothing more than a shrug and head shake of ‘shame on them disgust,’ and quickly forgotten.


I read another blog piece on ‘Psychology Today,’ praising this book and the author, Robin Sax, mentioned OJ Simpson. That mention got me to thinking; I can’t remember spouse abuse of any kind being seriously discussed on talk shows before the OJ trial. Before the murder trial, when OJ Simpson beat on Nicole and she called the cops, they basically overlooked and did not really see abuse for what it really was, domestic violence; they saw him as the great football hero, Nicole as the argumentative wife with an attitude. Unfortunately, we saw domestic violence that way throughout the US long before they made Nicole’s abuse public; wives had an attitude and they were just ungrateful. The first question spouses were and, sadly, often still asked is 'What did You do to deserve it?' That question makes my blood pressure rise! In truth, wives do nothing to deserve it! Nobody deserves to be hit or beaten in any way. Now we see 'marital discord' that becomes physical for what it is - Abuse! And it's abuse that could, and too often does, escalate to murder.

Women (and men who are abused) need ‘Time’s Up’. They not only need to read it, to think about their own situations, but need to be proactive and protect themselves and their children from an abuser. I think of Micah Pate, killed in April of 2009, and wonder how often or if she was abused by her husband, Thomas, prior to her murder. He claims accidental shooting but, (and that is a huge but) his story doesn’t add up in my mind. I think Micah could have greatly benefitted from ‘Time’s Up’ and it’s roadmap of advice.

‘Time’s Up’ is the best gift a person can give a friend whom they believe is in an abusive relationship. Teens need this book; teens abusing their girlfriend or boyfriend are more prevalent than many realize. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse is escalating in teens.

To quote Robin Sax - To say that Susan Murphy Milano has hit the nail on the head (again) is a total understatement! How true! That is more than an understatement; Susan has hit the nail dead-center, choreographed a life-saving-roadmap for the abused. No word can adequately express or exemplify how important ‘Time’s Up’ is for victims of abuse.

'Time's Up' is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. Hopefully, we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.



(I hope I haven't infringed on copyrights by using the 'Time's Up' bookcover graphic. If so, I heartily apologize and will be happy to delete)

Personal Entry: Hands of Friendship and Thoughts of Abuse

　
As I sit here thinking of how friendship is special, I think of how it isn’t set on a time limit or penciled scheduling; it’s constant, vigilant and caring. I think of how it’s there any given time speaking words of encouragement, listening and understanding, that it’s not setting terms. I think of how it’s the hand held out in time of need, a hand saying I am here to help you shoulder your troubles, just let them go.

I sit here thinking of abuse and how I wonder if I’ll ever close the bedroom door again, if the fear someone could come up to it unseen will ever allow me to close it. And I think of that hand. I wonder if I’ll ever sleep with my back turned to the door again. I wonder if the need to have it wide open is so I can see down the dark corridor of the hallway. I wonder if the need to know, to see what and who is there will ever stop and peace will fill my nights again.

And while thinking I find a nervousness inside me begin to churn and that I need that hand of friendship to talk with. I think of how I must constantly move, not knowing true restfulness; of how I suddenly find myself awake and sitting in the middle of the bed or sitting with my feet on the floor, ready for a quick exit. I think of how the smallest of unrecognized sound brings my head up, my ears and eyes alert. I think of the need to shelter myself; I think of that need to self-protect emotionally by internalizing the actions of another. I think of the mind-set of an abuser, wondering why they can’t reach out their hands in love and caring and not resentfulness, anger or violence. I wonder if it’s something inside them that creates a spur of the moment action or if it’s been there all along and suddenly rages.

I wonder about the anger that stems from the abusers’ health, and how ones physical health causes personality changes. I wonder if a way exists to really understand what goes on in another’s mind; the ones who appear born without conscience and only know how to live with an urge to cause hurt to animals or their fellow human beings. I think about the ‘I’m in it for the long haul’ effect, that ‘till death us do part’ line. And I know I must be there for the long haul but also need help with that hand of friendship beside me.

While I sit in the middle of the floor with space around me, I wonder why I need that space; if the need to know there’s an escape is a persistent factor in back of my mind. Why small spaces are not an option. And, I think of the hand of friendship, that one friend, who with patience waited for me to talk, giving me time to speak between the tears that I was shedding. Who with so much caring held out a hand and said, let me help shoulder your troubles; don’t you remember the faith you often spoke of in the past, of how you leaned on that faith? Let the hand of faith reach you tonight, take that hand held out to you. Take my hand of friendship as it was His and let the light of His love fill your heart; know you have the strength to endure, you will persevere, you will become a stronger person. You will overcome the obstacles you feel are binding you.

I think of all the Advocates out there, those Hands held out like the hand of Susan Murphy Milano, Anny Jacoby and Delilah; I think of all the other advocates and how they daily reach out and help. I think of how, by being the shoulder for abused ones’ tears, they are true Hands. I think of the hand of friendship that reached out to me, of the shows I have heard, the tears I’ve shed for victims, the joy I’ve felt knowing an abused person has found just the right Hand.

And so, I sit here tonight and think of how friendship is mostly the hand of God at work, always waiting for me to take His hand and put all the worries on His shoulders.

But still, I wonder about that escape.
　

Personal Blog Entry

Of Whom I Admire
　
　

　
You've heard people say, 'It's my nature’ - well, it's time to listen to your nature instinct, to stand up for the rights of victims everywhere who suffer from verbal and physical abuse. The wind's gentle breeze hears nature's whispers - and those of the lonely, the hurt, the lost, the defenseless. Susan Murphy-Milano listens to hers. Do you?

Go here - http://peace4themissing.blogspot.com/ read 'Blue Defends Blue' - take a moment to reflect on paragraph 8 and the part that reads 'I never compromise an investigation or a victim's life.' I am of the belief that a truer statement has never been written. Through all months I have followed Susan Murphy-Milano's Journal at http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/, her articles on 'Women In Crime Ink', and listened to the BTR show 'Justice Interrupted' that she co-hosts with Robin Sax and Stacy Dittrich, I have never known her to say or write anything that I, as a follower and blogger, a non cop, feel could hinder LE in any way with an investigation. I have never felt she said anything on her show http://www.blogtalkradio.com/SusanMurphyMilano either. All I hear is how those in need of domestic violence help, how those spouses of abusing cops, can detail the abuse they experience on a daily basis and who to turn to for help to stop the abuse.

Susan is an advocate of the abused. She is there for them when others turn their back. She fights for them, the abused spouses of LE Officers - those cases that are clear-cut abuse cases, not just the accusations of someone who wants to dirty her or his spouse's name. And if in that battle it means taking down an alleged 'good cop's' name within his or her department if that cop is abusing his spouse and children, then so be it - Victims have rights too!

Let hope and pray that no one ever successfully puts a muzzle on Susan's voice or her pen.



http://www.blogtalkradio.com/SusanMurphyMilano

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/justiceinterrupted

http://murphymilanojournal.blogspot.com/