Too Late for Tonya Michelle Turnmire to Utilize 'Time's Up'

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According to the police, the relationship between Tonya Michelle Turnmire and Ray Christopher Shockley was riddled with domestic violence incidents. On Friday, June 4, 2010 Michelle (as she was called) left her job at Y-Mart in Boaz, Ala., and drove to the home she shared with Ray in Albertville, Ala..


Michelle was not seen alive again.

The next day Michelle’s family called the police and reported her missing. Law enforcement spoke to Shockley several times in reference to her missing but it wasn’t until June 19 when Shockley was taken in for more questioning that  he confessed and led police to where he’d dumped Michelle’s body. Law enforcement converged on a wooded area just off U.S. Highway 431 in the Rockledge community of Etowah County that’s often used as a dump site. Michelle’s remains were taken to Huntsville for autopsy.

On Monday, June 21 after a press conference confirming Shockley had been arrested, close friends of Michelle’s released heart-shaped balloons in her honor. One balloon was gold star-shaped.

Tonya Michelle could have benefitted from a gold star -book by Susan Murphy Milano - ‘Time’s Up’- A Guide How to Escape Abusive and Stalking Relationships had she knew about it prior to June 4, 2010. Her case speaks loudly as to how valuable this book could be to domestic violence victims and how LE Departments everywhere need to utilize it. It reeks of the need for them to at least advise abused victims of its existence, if not give them a copy of Chapter 4: Declaration of Independence (Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit). I am of the belief that it’s imperative all domestic violence victims have access to this book, that even if they don’t believe their life is in danger from their abuser, (and sadly many do not believe they could die at the hands of their spouse or boyfriend) they need to keep records of the abuse and keep it in a safe place.

Time's Up - A Book of Distinction

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Until Susan Murphy Milano educated us all on the meaning of the term ‘Domestic Abuse,’ and it's long term effect on women and children of the abused, anytime we heard of LE going to a home where a husband and wife were 'arguing,' one slapped the other stuff is the way we viewed it. Marital discord, family spat, heated argument - those were the terms we read and believed was truth in these situations. The incidents were nothing more than a shrug and head shake of ‘shame on them disgust,’ and quickly forgotten.


I read another blog piece on ‘Psychology Today,’ praising this book and the author, Robin Sax, mentioned OJ Simpson. That mention got me to thinking; I can’t remember spouse abuse of any kind being seriously discussed on talk shows before the OJ trial. Before the murder trial, when OJ Simpson beat on Nicole and she called the cops, they basically overlooked and did not really see abuse for what it really was, domestic violence; they saw him as the great football hero, Nicole as the argumentative wife with an attitude. Unfortunately, we saw domestic violence that way throughout the US long before they made Nicole’s abuse public; wives had an attitude and they were just ungrateful. The first question spouses were and, sadly, often still asked is 'What did You do to deserve it?' That question makes my blood pressure rise! In truth, wives do nothing to deserve it! Nobody deserves to be hit or beaten in any way. Now we see 'marital discord' that becomes physical for what it is - Abuse! And it's abuse that could, and too often does, escalate to murder.

Women (and men who are abused) need ‘Time’s Up’. They not only need to read it, to think about their own situations, but need to be proactive and protect themselves and their children from an abuser. I think of Micah Pate, killed in April of 2009, and wonder how often or if she was abused by her husband, Thomas, prior to her murder. He claims accidental shooting but, (and that is a huge but) his story doesn’t add up in my mind. I think Micah could have greatly benefitted from ‘Time’s Up’ and it’s roadmap of advice.

‘Time’s Up’ is the best gift a person can give a friend whom they believe is in an abusive relationship. Teens need this book; teens abusing their girlfriend or boyfriend are more prevalent than many realize. Verbal, emotional and physical abuse is escalating in teens.

To quote Robin Sax - To say that Susan Murphy Milano has hit the nail on the head (again) is a total understatement! How true! That is more than an understatement; Susan has hit the nail dead-center, choreographed a life-saving-roadmap for the abused. No word can adequately express or exemplify how important ‘Time’s Up’ is for victims of abuse.

'Time's Up' is more than a manual, a handbook, it’s more than just another book, it’s a ‘Lifesaver,’ a surefire roadmap chocked full of ways to document evidence and protect yourself; in protecting yourself, you are also protecting your children from a life with an abuser. Hopefully, we will eventually see a copy of ‘Time’s Up’ in every library, every police department, every school, every church and every shelter where those who need help can utilize it and protect themselves from an abuser.



(I hope I haven't infringed on copyrights by using the 'Time's Up' bookcover graphic. If so, I heartily apologize and will be happy to delete)