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According to the police, the relationship between Tonya Michelle Turnmire and Ray Christopher Shockley was riddled with domestic violence incidents. On Friday, June 4, 2010 Michelle (as she was called) left her job at Y-Mart in Boaz, Ala., and drove to the home she shared with Ray in Albertville, Ala..
Michelle was not seen alive again.
The next day Michelle’s family called the police and reported her missing. Law enforcement spoke to Shockley several times in reference to her missing but it wasn’t until June 19 when Shockley was taken in for more questioning that he confessed and led police to where he’d dumped Michelle’s body. Law enforcement converged on a wooded area just off U.S. Highway 431 in the Rockledge community of Etowah County that’s often used as a dump site. Michelle’s remains were taken to Huntsville for autopsy.
On Monday, June 21 after a press conference confirming Shockley had been arrested, close friends of Michelle’s released heart-shaped balloons in her honor. One balloon was gold star-shaped.
Tonya Michelle could have benefitted from a gold star -book by Susan Murphy Milano - ‘Time’s Up’- A Guide How to Escape Abusive and Stalking Relationships had she knew about it prior to June 4, 2010. Her case speaks loudly as to how valuable this book could be to domestic violence victims and how LE Departments everywhere need to utilize it. It reeks of the need for them to at least advise abused victims of its existence, if not give them a copy of Chapter 4: Declaration of Independence (Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit). I am of the belief that it’s imperative all domestic violence victims have access to this book, that even if they don’t believe their life is in danger from their abuser, (and sadly many do not believe they could die at the hands of their spouse or boyfriend) they need to keep records of the abuse and keep it in a safe place.
The presciption for action is available for everyone in the book "Time's Up." As you indicate if only law enforcement and prosecutors handed out the instructions in chapter 4 it would go a long way in reducing the number of victims ending up with their name engraged on a cemetary headstone. Thank you for as always for bringing this epidemic to the forefront!
ReplyDeleteAbuse works both ways between genders, female and male abusers. Did you know this young lady that you are referencing and stating that the book you are trying to promote may have prevented her senseless murder, if law enforcement would have acted sooner. Any number of things could have prevented her death. I remember her from many years ago ... she was as abusive as any man twice her size, 5 foot 2 inches from what I recall. She was both verbally and physically abusive and would fly off the handle on a moment’s notice if things weren't going her way, especially after a few drinks of liquor. However, she or should I say "No One" warrants being beaten to death and dumped like trash. Don't blame law enforcement for this act of senseless violence. In most cases it takes two to Tango. Simply leave or get away from the abuser and do not institute any contact there-after, I DID! This could have very well ended with the male being dead and the female being charged for the crime. Think about it folks… Peace at last, huh kiddo? Rest in Peace... An older female friend of TM.
ReplyDeleteJust like all tools, they are as useful as those who use them properly. The Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit is a tool that anyone who comes in contact with a victim of domestic violence (male or female) should have readily available to give to them.
ReplyDeleteOne of the problems lies in the fact that most victims don't have a road map to follow when wanting to remove themselves from a toxic and dangerous relationship. Time's Up provides those victims, who want it, a guideline which they must use specifically for their own circumstances.
Maybe if Tonya had this information, her life may have been spared, maybe not, we will never know. Her past actions do not ever justify what was done to her.
Think of this, who goes to drive a vehicle without first learning the rules of the road? Similarly, victims of abuse don't know what they can or cannot do to help their situation and come to their destination alive.
The cemeteries are fast filling with victims caught up in dangerous relationships and we MUST offer them something, as well as help all law enforcement agencies handle these types of high risk cases. If Time's Up spares the life of one victim, it's well worth it, and my bet is that it has the capacity to save many.
Susan,
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad testimony to the vow love and honor when a partner in a relationship shows his/her fiery love by blackening honor. And all that is left for family and friends is hope that justice will rise from the ashes for the victim.
I read of so many spousal and boyfriend abuse/murder cases and it's disheartening knowing there is a prescription out there that can help but the victim is unaware. That LE needs to use the book to help victims is mandatory before, as you say, the victim becomes another name on a headstone or goes missing and unfound.
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteCondolences for the loss of your old friend.
Abuse works both ways in some cases, males become the victim more often than we know. Sadly, men, sometimes due to the macho image, do not report the abuse. However, in Michelle's case it was a male abuser.
Michelle was reported missing by a family who loved and cared for her. She also had many friends who loved her, it was those friends who gathered $2000.00 and offered it as a reward for information on her during the investigation. It was also her friends who released the balloons mentioned in my post. No matter her past, I'd say Michelle grew into a caring woman with good friends and caring family who loved her.
True, LE wasn't the blame here. Her killer was. However, if LE departments had a copy of "Time's Up" A Guide How to Escape Abusive and Stalking Relationships -especially the evidentary abuse affidavit (chapter 4) then we'd read less and less of these tragic deaths in the future. It's a roadmap on how to leave safely. In some cases of abuse the abused can just leave and all will be well as it was in your case. And thank God that you're safe. In far too many cases that simply isn't possible.
When I was young, I knew an abusive man. His wife put up with it, (more verbal than physical) all I'd say is, God, I would not stay married to him. I'd put him out mine and his misery. I think perhpas that is what you meant by leaving kept him alive and you with your freedom. Sure am glad you made the choice of freedom. :)
I appreciate your commenting with your thoughts on this blog and hope you continue to check in and read future blog post.
Delilah,
ReplyDeleteI so agree with your comment and greatly appreciate it. If what I've learned from reading her friends comments of Michelle is a truth, then she at times held 2 or 3 jobs to pay off debt charged to her by her killer. He'd unfortunately fallen into the darkness of drugs, she had not.
In many ways this case and Michelle's death reminds me of Danielle T. Brown's case. I personally think that when Michelle arrived home on June 4 after work she found her killer high on drugs. She likely told him she'd had enough and to leave. That was what angered him and he killed then wrap her body in a blanket and air mattress and disposed of her in that thick brush filled area. Danielle's killer, (yes LE believes she is dead) hasn't diclosed where her body is yet. But, some comfort for her family and friends is that he is still in jail for torching her car. Unfortunately, Danielle's family can't give her the proper burial she deserves.
I do not know if the abuse affidavit would've helped either of these ladies, I suspect it could have helped Michelle though. And yes, I do strongly believe it can help many others before those small plats in the local cemeteries are filled with their bodies.
OMG... I was looking at news posts to see if they had charged Ray with anything else and I came across this page. I'm sort of in shock here. Michelle was a good friend of mine and I probably have not known her as long as her "old friend" did, but I think I probably know her better. Michelle was a member of a twelve step program and was living a clean and sober life and had been for almost 7 years. She was the type of person who would give you the only bite of food she had just so that you would not go hungry. She was a loving, caring, strong woman who got involved with a man who took all that away from her. Michelle may have been an abusive person long ago, but she was not that person when she was murdered. Sure, she probably tried to stand up to Ray, anyone one who knew her could guarantee that, but she didn't beat him. He abused her, a lot... Michelle didn't have a lot, she worked several jobs just to support herself, and when Ray came along, he dumped money to her so she could live comfortably; bought her a car and a house and a ring... Michelle could take care of herself, but it was easier to have someone else helping a lot. She tried to leave him several times, and did once for almost a year, but when he came back around she went back to him. Ray Shockley was a manipulative smooth talking person, he had several of her friends convinced that he was concerned for her and trying to find her... He was a drug addict who knew how to lie, cheat and manipulate.. Thats what he did to get her. There is probably a thousand things that could have been done to save her life, but none of it was done and now she is dead.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteI send deepest condolences for the loss of your dear friend.
Thank you for giving us insight into Michelle's life the past few years. Her death is tragic in more ways than one, but the beautiful thing she left was all the laughter, smiles and love she shared with her friends and family.
It takes more than a home and a ring to make a good home. You showed that in your comment. When one parnter is controling and abusive and then adds drugs to the mix, it can and allegedly has in Michelle's case(and other cases too) proven to be fatal.
Mr. Shockley's first degree murder trial date is set for jury trial on Sept 19, 2011.
ReplyDeleteI've known Mitchelle and Ray and Mitchelle was abusive too. did anyone see the lumps on his head where she was hitting him she only had one place on her head and that was where she hit her head when he pushed her off of him, Ray may have had charges of theft against him but his mother was the one that put those charges on him. Mitchelle and Ray should have never been togeather in the first place when he joined NA the first rule is no new relationship right well Mitchelle knew this she had been there for a few years. Ray also made a lot more money than she did his money was in the bank too. he did have a drug problem he tried to stay straight but would relapse and he is not the only one in NA to relapse. he was wrong but murder I don't believe I feel he paniced is why he hid her body though it wasn't right by no means at least he did tell them where she was unlike many you read about. Tay loved Mitchelle and she loved him, they just weren't right for eachother. Everyone says Ray would find her it was the other way around she would call him continuously or she'd call his mother looking for him. But noone ever wants to say good things about Ray What about how he gave her the money to put up and carried her three different times to see her children that she had not seen in years, Mitchelle didn't even work then and she didn't work most of the time they were together, she always quit her job when they got back together exept this last time. I'm sorry she is gone and I miss her but he was not the only one in this relationship that was abusive, I have never even heard of him abusing her I know one time she had him charged with domestic volenc for him throwing a cell phone at the door nowhere near him. she got a restraing order against him and would not stop calling him another time when he was buying a house he asked her to leave, she called the police to have them there while she took everything that he had bought so I can't judge God say not to and I know they have both been in the wrong and I don't believe for one minute that Ray thought in his head I'm going to kill her I believe it was an accident scared him and he paniced
ReplyDeleteWho gives a shit about who did what he killed her. Because all he had to do was call 911 for help, but no he had to hide her in a closet for days then move her again at a dump site then left and decided he would go and buy an air Mattress with my sister's money and bring it back to put over her so she would rotten like an animal and it over 100 degrees that summer so don't tell me he cared because he did not and I Hope Somebody Kills that SOB.We Love You Michelle.
DeleteMaybe for all of you that keep saying it was an accident have forgotten some details... if he just panicked and he had more money than her... what did he immediately go to her place of business and try to get them to cash her pay check... not someone who is panicked thats for sure. And you keep saying that it was her that called him all the time and wouldnt leave him alone... he could have just as easily left. Point is, he made the CHOICE to KILL her
ReplyDeleteAnonymous of 07/26 :
ReplyDeleteI can't agree with your accounts of the relationship between Ray and Michelle but neither can I disagree. I can only go by the information I have via documents. Mr. Shockley has had many arrest in the past. However, no matter what his past crimes were, he had no right to kill. No one deserves to be murdered.
You say 'atleast he told them where her body was' but look how long he waited before doing that. Sorry, but in the booking photo I saw, I couldn't tell he had lumps on his head. As far as her getting the restraining order then continually calling him, phone records will show that. I agree, you nor I can judge either one. Only God judges. But, it's up to a jury to decide truths after hearing all the evidence both sides put up during trial.
I am appreciative of your comment and I hope you continue to come in and give more information on Ray and Michelle. Hearing both sides of the story is always good, it helps paint a picture of both the defendant and victim. I guess we'll have to leave it up to a jury to decide whether it was an accident, 1st degree murder, or some lesser crime.
Again, thank you for the comment.
TigressPen
Anonymous of 7/28:
ReplyDeleteI agree that Ray made a choice and that choice was allegedly to kill. I question his attempting to cash her check also. Why would he do that if he wasn't in need of cash? Maybe it was part of the cover up he perpetrated by hiding her body and keeping silent on her being deceased. Whether his doing so was from panic or to cover his crime of murder is something the jury will have to decide.
He did admit he'd hidden her body and lead LE to it. And for that I thank him. So many killers don't care that a family needs closure with the question'where is my loved one?' I suppose he could say, she asked him to go and cash her check. Hopefully, we will discover the truth during trial.
Thank you for the comment. I hope you come back again and post your thoughts here.
TigressPen
this whole thing just continues to break my heart... i was reading the comment from 7/26 and its funny how people will say things about someone when they clearly just knew Michelle and Ray, probably only from seeing them in a meeting or something... first of all, there is no rule in NA about relationships, thats only a suggestion... if you were in meetings six years ago, you would know that Ray persued Michelle just as hard as she did him... i can remember sitting down with ray, trying to get him to not hook up with michelle because, yeah, we all knew that she was nuts!! everyone who knew michelle can attest to that, but besides her craziness she was an amazing person...
ReplyDeleteYes, michelle and ray had a very rocky relationship.. lots of abuse on both ends... neither one of them was ever innocent of that. i dont remember ever seeing ray with any signs of physical abuse, but im not saying it didnt happen, i can see michelle throwing things at him right now if i close my eyes... and yes, michelle would stalk him if they were split up... she would call everyone and anyone who she thought might have seen ray... it was scary sometimes to watch her when she was manic like that...
im shocked that someone actally said that she didnt work... i know that michelle worked her fingers to the bone... there was a time when she worked three jobs, went to meetings, and helped with pi for na by carrying meetings to the county jail and the rehab center... michelle didnt need rays money, she never asked for anything from him... she was happy with her little green mazda before ray bought the caddy... she also cried when ray bought the house cause that meant she had to move out of the trailor that she worked hard to get into and make a home...
the day after ray asked michelle to marry him, i was at their house and i remember pulling ray to the side and asking him if this was really what he wanted considering all the problems that they have... his response made us all laugh a little then but its chilling to think about it now... he told us that considering all the crap that they put each other through we better believe he was going to marry her, that or he'd kill her, one or the other.... it was a joke then...
ray and michelle loved each other the best that they knew how... both of them were very sick people with very sick ideas about what love is... we cant blame either of them for the events that preceeded michelles death... all we can do is pray that michelle is safe in the arms of loving and caring god and pray that justice is served.
we should also pray for ray, even though he did kill michelle.
Sadly, Anonymous of 08/29, too many relationships are built around that 'if we can't argue and demean each other' then we have no love/fire in our lives. But, it's when those arguments become physically abusive that help is needed. Anger management. And if that doesn't help then other measures can be taken. Divorce.
ReplyDeleteNo matter how much you think you love another person, one has to realize enough is enough and just let go. (But that's the rational way of thinking too) Apparently Ray and Michelle had lost the ability to think rationally about each others actions. We, at least know he had since he made the decision to kill.
I don't think who worked or didn't work, who had more money than the other is important. Accountablity is. Yes. Ray needs prays but he needs to pay for his actions too. No matter what kind of emotionl person Michelle was, she deserves justice.
Ray made the conscious decision to kill and dispose of Michelle's body. When he made that decision, who knows, but it became action when he carried it out.
Perhaps the joke was more ominous than anyone realized, including Michelle. And as you said perhaps both were psychologically sick and needed therapy to help them.
TigressPen
To Anonymous of 7/26: It is very obvious that you do not know very much about the relationship between Ray and Michelle. Your 1st statement is already a statement as if you were there when Michelle died. If that is so, you need to come forward immediately! But since all accounts are only from 1 person(the one who is still alive) then there is only his word and the evidence. Unfortunately, his word doesn't count for very much since he is a manipulative, pathalogical liar!! However the evidence, well if you are close to this case, then you know it speaks volumes! Yes he did clean out 'their' account 1st but then after killing her, he robbed her! He robbed from her the whole time he was supposively 'looking' for her! Only a sociopath can continually lie while simultaneously misleading friends and family with a straight face. Look up the definition for sociopath and he has every trait! He had misled and made numerous false promises to Michelle which caused her to stay in this very unhealthy relationship. That is no excuse for killing her! If it was an accident, then you call 911. I don't think he was an EMT so how did he know for sure she was dead if he just knocked her off of him... Yes I guarantee the evidence will speak for itself and there's ALOT of it! And your statement of 'you have never even heard of him hurting her' also shows you didn't know much about this relationship. There were numerous occassions when he hurt her and it was not just throwing a phone. Michelle was not perfect by any means and she never claimed to be, but she was true to her word! Something he still has not learned to be! As for him paying for trips to see her kids, she saved money for those trips from her jobs! He stole several hundred from her on one of those trips home... I don't think she would've stolen it from herself. He stole from her numerous times. He did make more money from her when he worked, but always relapsed and blew it all and then some! Ray could have walked away with out robbing her even if it was an accident, but he chose to rob her as well. I feel very confident the evidence will speak very clearly in this case, I just wish it could grant her family some of the peace they were also robbed of by his actions!
ReplyDeleteI can say a few words about who paid for the trips to see her kids. Ray did. And he did it 3 times. Until Ray she had been away from her kids for 6 years and had only seen them once during that time.She only called them about 6 or 7 times in that 6 years. (Im sorry but if you are away for your kids, for what ever reason, you should call them every day or at least once a week) In all those years she would tell them that she had no money to visit them. She never sent them money to help take care of them. no Birthday presents, not even a card to say Happy Birthday. Then Ray comes in and helps her see how important her kids are, and that she needs to be apart of their lives. Not only did he give her the money, but he went with her. After the last visit to see her kids, she moved out. And her kids never heard from her again. They last time they heard from her was 2 years before her death. Yes, Michelle may have been a great loving friend to her friends, but to her kids not so much. Without Ray, she would not have seen them those 3 times. She also started calling her kids on a regular bases. Yes Ray was not a great boyfriend, with the way he treated her and with the way he ended her life. (no one deserves that) but where her kids were concerened, he helped her see the light to reconnect with her kids if only for a short time. And yes he took her from her kids forever, but until he pushed her to reconnect with them she had no interest in doing it.
DeleteU have no idea what u r talking about u stupid idot Michelle loved her kids and she called them it was their Sorry daddy that would make up every excuse to not let her talk to them. And I know for a Fact she paid her own way to go see Court and Taylor and she called all the time to talk to those children.
DeleteOnce again Anonymous from March 2,2012... After speaking to Michelle daily for the last 8 years of her life until she was gone, your information is completely false! It sounds like you may be getting fed your information from the same person who fed Michelle with nothing but lies all those years. I know for a fact that for many years she did call everyday! And he(not even gonna mention his name) had nothing to do with that! Michelle saved her own money from waitressing to go on those trips and on one of those trips he stole several hundred dollars from her for drugs! Also her family carried her on several other trips to see her kids during those years as well, so once again you are falsely informed!! The main thing he did was take from her and I mean he stole money and he also took from her mentally also. All of the things she did for her kids while in recovery she was doing way before she ever knew him. So keep painting your unrealistic picture for yourself to make you feel better, but I live in reality. He stole from her many times before and this last time he stole her life! Sadly for drugs, but also he stole from one of the only people still left that believed in him. He killed her and even robbed from her after her death! The one thing she regretted most about her recovery was that she had hurt her kids and she was doing everything that she could to stay in touch with them and mend what she could to build a future and yes that was robbed from her too! We are still grieving the loss of Michelle daily!! My life has been completely altered and I can't imagine how the family and children feel!! He not only hurt Michelle, her family and children, but many others!!
ReplyDelete