Sunday, April 5, 2009

Motionless Fabrication

The mind is a wondrous thing, a living documentary of all we have known, said, written and done. If we could pull up each minute, each moment of our life then we'd know that the good moments outweigh the bad, the sad, and the tearful; the happy moments would be there to replay at leisure. And we could be happier because we would remember what makes us happy and instantly work to keep that frame of mind alive in our hearts. We'd know how often those we care for - even strangers in a crowd - showed us love, caring and support; just how often single smiles from friends, strangers and loved ones made daily frustrations disappear. We would simply know what is right with our life and what isn't right because we would have all the past rights and wrongs as instant examples.

However, it doesn't work that way.

We begin our life in the nurturing arms of contentment, we feel safe and loved, we are innocent of real wrongs and give love to all people as naturally as they give it to us. But as we grow, we store all that contentment in a file of forgotten. Perhaps that is why we repeat wrongs more often than we repeat rights. Why we continually fail to be all that we can be, all that we are. Why we ‘fabricate’ our self.

When one feels caught in the throes of motionlessness, disappointed but more like we are a disappointment, then there is no stability in reaction to actions . . . it's a catch 22. We’re constantly on the defensive and that doesn't lead to an ease of mind and soul - to happiness, to allowing security to wrap around the heart - the soul. And because that security floats past and doesn’t settle, we question, why can’t we just be; just for a little while just be? Maybe, it’s because we don’t stop and think about past mistakes, past wrongs, those moments of not having compassion, of not understanding that we aren’t alone in this world. We think only of now, of our self, what is happening right now to us. We do not consider the times that we did not show compassion or love or a smile of assurance of faith in others; those moments go into that forgotten file.

Life can be full of obstacles creating a motionlessness and lack spark, and we wonder - what has happened to the purpose? What has happened to the duct that allowed our happiness breeze to tickle the heart - that makes smiles an integral part of life? What has happen to the upgrade of emotions just because that upgrade is an internal need, wanted.

In our mind, we are the one who needs, who wants, who deserves - and in that, we are selfish. But we are also the only one who can reconsider the right of showing compassion, of showing love toward others just as we would want them to give us. And in showing love and compassion change ourselves into a happier person, and into the person we emotionally strive to be. Perhaps we should look into the mirror and tell our self, 'I miss you, the real you, the happy you,' and then begin that change. Then when that trigger of happiness is feeling frozen in place - like a block of ice thrown into the shadows where no spark of light can filter - we will automatically know how we can just be ourselves and sweep away those shadows.

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