The Bile of Speculation

　
　
The bile of speculation speed through the coarse similes of ruins in what was once beautiful days carrying the victims of words along for the bumpy ride.

We are human, and as humans we are sometimes cold and unfeeling. We are not perfect, and we show these negative qualities far too frequently.

Sadly, we take the rights given us by our forefathers for granted and do not always consider how powerful are the words we so easily use as knives. Does that make us different from a person who literally uses a material knife to harm others? Yes. However, it doesn't make us right nor does it always make the words right. While graves of discontent envelope others, we sit unknowing of the person they are inside and judge them with words. We speculate about them due to their lifestyle, their looks, the vehicle they drive, whether they smoke, drink and how they dress. We do all this conjecturing without really knowing them. Sometimes, the way people carry themselves, the way they act and react says a lot about them, but it doesn't mean they are truly worthy of total disrespect. And those actions do not mean they are trash, dirt bags, druggies, murderers or abusers.

Anytime tragic events encapsulate people with a family member unwillingly gone missing, the family left behind become instant suspects in the eyes of law enforcement. More often than not, they can’t fully vindicate no family member until proof that someone outside the family is a proven suspect, and charged with a crime. This is also what happens when someone abuses or murders a family member. We, the ones looking in from outside, suspect the victim’s family just as law enforcement does. We violate their rights in the name of right to know before law enforcement brings charges against them or some other suspect. We watch their every movement, add emphasis to their every spoken word, every eye movement, questioning them in our minds and searching for some deplorable evil being living inside their souls.

And unfortunately, later, if law enforcement has shown the people demeaned by the public's opinion as nothing more than victims of tragedy, we do not bother feeling guilt or remorse for our words and actions during their heartbreaking days of sorrow. More sadly is the fact that we blame them for our verbal attacks on their character, vindicating our actions as normal human nature because in our minds it was they who showed guilt. When in fact, all they were doing is showing hurt and pain and sorrow over the tragedy that blanketed their life.

Words can push people into shadowy corners cowering in fear, but they can also cause people to hold their heads high and give them strength to endure. I only wish more would aspire to use words to help others have that strength to endure. All families do not have killers and abusers hiding in their closets; they are truly victims of crime, just as, but not as horrific, as the one physically attacked, abused or murdered.

http://www.bakersfieldnow.com/news/local/42705867.html

And he was being watched by whom? Just what was Riley doing in the group home? Was it for so called 'therapy' so he would be a good boy when out in public?

But an upside, somewhat, of the story of child molesters: http://www.news10.net/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=57610&catid=2

Hooray! Good work Placard County, CA! Still, I wonder how many years of that 16 year sentence this slime will actually serve in prison? This isn't the first time he's sexually attacked children. Justice for the victim, via his own guilty plea, of the recent child rape improved over a previous one- they only gave him 6 years in 1984 -

Alleged Lies and The Murder Of Lori Kastner

　
　
　
When Lori Moon married John Robert Kastner in 1985, it was the beginning of the end for her. Lori, former Oklahoma Supreme Court attorney, died as she slept from a gunshot wound to the head, allegedly by her husband on June 25, 2008. John Robert Kastner was a Webster High School teacher and they arrested and charged him with her murder. There began the dissemination of an alleged life of lies.

When police arrived on the scene, they discovered Robert Kastner with a gunshot wound to his hand, Lori Kastner dead in her bed, and a home invasion scenario inside and outside the home.
Kastner told police an intruder, a dark-complexioned white or American Indian man, was standing at the foot of his bed holding a gun - belonging to Kastner - in his hand and asking ‘where is Whitney’ - the name of Kastner's adopted daughter. Whitney wasn't home. Kastner said he struggled with the intruder and in that struggle grabbed the barrel of the gun; it was then he was shot in the hand. He told them the intruder had shot Lori in the head and when he heard her moaning, shot her again.

Kastner's story of the intruder began changing with each telling of how his wife was shot twice. As he continued to live in his fantasy lies, the police lived in reality and became suspicious. Kastner's friends became suspicious too. Kastner had allegedly told them, the school administration and his students many stories over the years. One was that a philanthropist was going to make a large grant to boost academic programs, then that he'd gotten a huge trust fund and was planning to create a foundation. However, those alleged lies were only the tips of the iceberg. Kastner had convinced his wife Lori they were factual; she'd resigned her job and made plans to oversee the ‘713 Foundation’ with her husband.

Did love's rose-colored glasses have a strong grip on a seemingly intelligent woman and that love cost her life?

Kastner filed a pauper’s affidavit and represented by a public defender Marny Hill but wants to have the lead role in his own trial. His trial date is set for August 17, 2009.
　
　

Predators Among Us

When hearing the media reports yesterday that Sandra Cantu was found in a piece of luggage on wheels floating in a pond, my heart broke for her, and her family. Some sick perverted person killed her and stuffed her in that bag. Although they had not preformed an autopsy then, the news gives me reason to believe she was sexually assaulted prior to her death. When are we going to stop allowing these predators to live freely in our neighborhoods where children live! Who cares that they’ve done their time, paid their due for a previous crime? You cannot, cannot, cannot, make a person who abuses children well! The urge will always be with them and they will do it again, and again despite any help with pills or therapy they receive.

Something needs done! Laws need to change in all states. LE needs more officers to handle these people at a moment’s notice; they need to keep a check on them several times a day. They need officers physically going to the predators’ homes and not simply depend on bracelets some must wear. Nor do they need to just accept that predators will check in with LE and parole officers. They need the right to check on them even after they’ve done their ‘time’ - ‘paid their dues’ for previous crimes if they are on the sex offender list. Perverted sex offenders should feel in prison even outside prison! These molesters are still molesters after they leave prison and do not need to live in areas where children live! To have them move blocks away, a mile away is not acceptable.

I realize it’s a pipe dream that victims could ever have more rights than rapists and murderers but the laws can’t take away our hope that the dream needs to become reality.

Motionless Fabrication

　
　
The mind is a wondrous thing, a living documentary of all we have known, said, written and done. If we could pull up each minute, each moment of our life then we'd know that the good moments outweigh the bad, the sad, and the tearful; the happy moments would be there to replay at leisure. And we could be happier because we would remember what makes us happy and instantly work to keep that frame of mind alive in our hearts. We'd know how often those we care for - even strangers in a crowd - showed us love, caring and support; just how often single smiles from friends, strangers and loved ones made daily frustrations disappear. We would simply know what is right with our life and what isn't right because we would have all the past rights and wrongs as instant examples.

However, it doesn't work that way.

We begin our life in the nurturing arms of contentment, we feel safe and loved, we are innocent of real wrongs and give love to all people as naturally as they give it to us. But as we grow, we store all that contentment in a file of forgotten. Perhaps that is why we repeat wrongs more often than we repeat rights. Why we continually fail to be all that we can be, all that we are. Why we ‘fabricate’ our self.

When one feels caught in the throes of motionlessness, disappointed but more like we are a disappointment, then there is no stability in reaction to actions . . . it's a catch 22. We’re constantly on the defensive and that doesn't lead to an ease of mind and soul - to happiness, to allowing security to wrap around the heart - the soul. And because that security floats past and doesn’t settle, we question, why can’t we just be; just for a little while just be? Maybe, it’s because we don’t stop and think about past mistakes, past wrongs, those moments of not having compassion, of not understanding that we aren’t alone in this world. We think only of now, of our self, what is happening right now to us. We do not consider the times that we did not show compassion or love or a smile of assurance of faith in others; those moments go into that forgotten file.

Life can be full of obstacles creating a motionlessness and lack spark, and we wonder - what has happened to the purpose? What has happened to the duct that allowed our happiness breeze to tickle the heart - that makes smiles an integral part of life? What has happen to the upgrade of emotions just because that upgrade is an internal need, wanted.

In our mind, we are the one who needs, who wants, who deserves - and in that, we are selfish. But we are also the only one who can reconsider the right of showing compassion, of showing love toward others just as we would want them to give us. And in showing love and compassion change ourselves into a happier person, and into the person we emotionally strive to be. Perhaps we should look into the mirror and tell our self, 'I miss you, the real you, the happy you,' and then begin that change. Then when that trigger of happiness is feeling frozen in place - like a block of ice thrown into the shadows where no spark of light can filter - we will automatically know how we can just be ourselves and sweep away those shadows.