Monday, October 22, 2012

Her Name is Susan Murphy Milano and She Will Not Die


In case you are wondering if I’ve lost all my marbles, the answer is no. Susan has given her life to others, helping them, holding their hands and seeing they stay safe from abuse. If you need more information on her and why she will not die, I will enlighten you. Susan is a nationally known expert and advocate  for women who is being or have suffered domestic abuse. She is a published author of four books. All wrote without thoughts of herself and how they could help her. They were written with helping others in mind.

Defending Our Lives: Getting Away From Domestic Violence & Staying Safe

Moving Out, Moving On, centered on relationships going wrong.

Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships

And her more recent book ‘Holding My Hand Through Hell’ which details her life and the abuse suffered at the hands of her cop father. Her father killed Susan’s mother and then committed suicide.

Holding My Hand Through Hell is another book that can help others as well.

Time’s Up: A Guide on How to Leave and Survive Abusive and Stalking Relationships is one of the most important books ever written for domestic and intimate partner abuse victims. Inside it, in chapter 4, is the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit. This affidavit can, has and does save lives. The EAA as it’s called, and thanks to apple, is also available on your apple phone as an app. When victims fill out the forms and make a short video they keep a copy with someone trustworthy. If anything should happen to them, the copy is sent to local LE. But, no one who has filled out the EAA and made the video has died. Another testament to Susan. Women on her watch do not die. The EAA gives prosecutors the evidence needed to charge and prosecute the offender. If that offender is indeed the spouse or intimate partner, it handles the question of arguments of hearsay evidence at trial.

Although her focus was on abused women, the EAA and indeed Susan’s books can help men who are being abused also.

Have you read enough praise of her yet? If not, here is more:

The Women's Bar Association of Illinois honored Susan with the Women with Vision award for Community Service. She was also awarded in Illinois with Public Citizen of the Year Award by the National Association of Social Workers Illinois Chapter. And she was honored by being inducted into Women's Hall of Fame in Chicago. Susan had lobbied for the Illinois Stalking Law and the Lautenberg Amendment - the amendment was for a domestic violence offender gun ban.

No although Susan is battling cancer, she will not die, ever. Despite the fact that her earthly body will die, she will not. Too many people love her and her vision. She will be remembered and her unfailing work throughout her life will go on. Many advocates exists. And after Susan discovered she had cancer she passed her baton to Pastor Neil Schori. Susan met Pastor Schori after Stacy Peterson disappeared and was presumed deceased. The EAA became reality in her mind after their conversation. And Susan doesn’t give herself credit for the EAA becoming reality; she gives it to Stacy Peterson.


  1. Thanks to Amy Crohn Santagata for giving me the incentive to finish writing this today. I had started on it a couple weeks ago but the lump in my throat, heavy heart and tears in my eyes refused to allow it to be finished.

    Please excuse the passiveness of this post, it is emotional and was indeed written with a heavy heart.

  2. This is a loving tribute to a very deserving lady <3

  3. Thank you beloved Shirl for picking up your TigressPen (puter) and sharing this with us. <3

  4. How beautiful Shirley, Thank you for expressing and sharing your heart. I too feel Susan will always be with us. What is so beautiful to me is that each victim of abuse and every resource that uses her books, radio shows, blogs and most of all her EAA are what keeps her alive indefinitely. Her books are priceless information and her mental capacity of understanding what is in order to survive abuse is what captured my attention. I studied every ounce of her tools, listened to every radio show, read all her books and acted upon her advice. I am a survivor here today loving my life as my children thrive, educated about abuse and having their mom right there with them every step, of the way.

  5. Beautiful, Shirley. And you're right. Susan's spirit and her work will live on. The world's a better place because of Susan Murphy Milano.

  6. How true,Kay. The body can die, the soul rises to that beautiful pain free place in Heaven to be with those gone before but the spirt of who she was and is cannot die as long as she is loved. Her legacy lives on.